The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well itβs not a law itβs a mandate
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︎ Nov 20 2020
If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
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︎ Jan 23 2021
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Eating lunch when my 5 year old hits me with this
Me: good grief in full
5 year old: Hi Full, I'm Miriam!
Never been so proud of her in my life.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
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︎ Dec 18 2020
What does a suit like to have for lunch?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
I went to subway and accidentally stole someone's lunch.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I ordered the pasta at work today for lunch.
But then I realized I wasn't that hungry, so I boxed it up to take home and eat later.
Because a pennΓ© saved is a pennΓ© earned.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
What do sharks eat for lunch?
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︎ Jul 24 2020
There's way more cool stuff
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︎ Nov 03 2020
AITA for eating my coworker's lunch?
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︎ Sep 20 2019
βDad, we hate when you do the grocery shopping because you always buy the cheapest lunch meat you can find.β
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︎ Aug 10 2020
As we sat down for lunch, I proudly announced to my daughter, "Little known fact, the first French fries werenβt actually cooked in France!" Unimpressed, she ignored me and kept eating. Not being one to give up, I continued...
"Nope, they were cooked in Greece!"
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︎ Aug 20 2020
My patient wanted his bedding fixed, and when I did, I found remainders of his lunch.
Turns out, he was resting in peas.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?
Half an hour, same as the zebras.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
It's titled "Cheetah After Lunch", but it looks like a flamin' hot cheetah to me
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︎ Jun 09 2020
What kind of lunches do they take to school in Germany?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
How does a turkey eat his lunch?
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︎ Sep 01 2020
One lunch man
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︎ Jul 07 2020
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.
Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
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︎ Aug 16 2020
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.
I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing
for the wurst.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
I asked my son what class he was in after lunch.
'Middle,' he said, 'same as before lunch.'
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My daughter was making some lunch. I asked her what she was making...
Daughter: Nachos
Me: I know it's not for me. I'm just asking what you're making for lunch. Sheesh...
Daughter: <confused> Huh?
Me: I'm just asking you what you're making for lunch.
Daughter: And i told you. Nachos!
Me: You already told me it's not for me. You don't have to be mean about it!
Daughter: <pause> Dang it... <sighs> Go away...
Me: <laughs in dad joke>
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Me: *arriving at the office after lunch in a nice red dress.*
My boss: Why are you dressed as a woman?!
Me: What do you mean? You asked me if i could join the meeting with the Chinese as a trans later?
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︎ Jul 13 2020
I went to lunch with a nudist friend...
...and all he ordered was a salad β no dressing.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?
I would pick someone alive.
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Why can't a librarian go on a weekday lunch date?
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︎ May 26 2020
A mom angrily told her 4 year old son to say counting if he wanted to get his lunch. So the boy started... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9 10...
I don't think he need that lunch anymore. He already 8
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What do sea monsters eat for lunch
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︎ Jun 09 2020
What do you call two councilmen eating lunch and talking about policies?
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What does a donkey get for lunch on Blackpool beach?
Half an hour like everyone else.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
Where does a wizard eat his lunch?
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Where do astronauts go for lunch?
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
I also enjoy eating lunch on a periodic table
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︎ Dec 18 2019
My wife thinks she's funny by putting Frozen yogurt in the freezer for my home packed lunches.
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Two chiropractors are hurrying to finish lunch.
They had to get backs to work.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
What does a door framer pack in his lunch?
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︎ May 25 2020
Turned up late to a cannibal lunch...
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︎ Nov 16 2019
My wife asked me βcan vegans have dogs?β
I said: βnot for lunchβ
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︎ Dec 31 2020
I made myself a turkey sandwich for lunch with pepperjack and thousand island. It wasn't quite a reuben...
...but I would say it was rubenesque.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
Why did the scientist eat photons after lunch?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
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