Hippocampus
A single pringle ready to mingle.
"I like my cats how I like my women: desperate and incarcerated"
Edit: I told my dad I posted this here. He's happy about the upvotes but also mad because "MY JOKES ARE FUNNY, GOD DAMMIT"
I call him Dr. Awkward
I think she is in love with me.
I saw it through my telescope last night
I call him Dr. Awkward.
A tik tok tic tac clip clop.
No matter how far apart two people are, there’s only four feet between them!
It's called FezBook.
I am very sorry sir, I am afraid your condition is not tweetable....
In almost all cases its impossible to have three feet between 2 people.
The ends justify the memes.
The other day I Stumbledupon my Instagram and lost Pinterest
Snapchat
But this is as close as I could get.
Unfortunately, I already Reddit.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
faceBAWK
pound cake
A pro-grammer
An instagator
I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.
They’re changing their name to Knockers.
Come on, it’s Ferda Boyce
- If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
- Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
- Can't spell virus without U and I.
- Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
- I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
- Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
- Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.
credit: some facebook post i saw.
Because the times, they are a-changin'.
It all ends in tiers...
He's calling it "Faithbook".
It would be post apocalyptic
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
My son is taking part in a social experiment. He has to wear a "GO VEGAN" t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far he's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him! I'm curious to see what happens once he goes outside.
She swore she will never play Scrabble with me again
It never says hi. It just waves
But not as a full-time job, just as a way to make hens meet.
Is ASS backwards.
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
It was a sweet gesture, but I already reddit.
Cop," Where's your passenger?"
Me, "Due to Social Distancing, he's in the car right behind me."
Al Gore Rhythms
It's topical and stuff
This is as close as I could get.
