I went over to a station where people could gather and entertain themselves with games. On the entrance was marked β€œ5”

I went to play station 5

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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How do duck dads entertain their eggs?

With dad yokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Did you hear about the pumpkin seeds that were drilled out, and then left alone with nothing to entertain them?

They were bored out of their gourd.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwhaught
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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I just bought a 2X4 and a 4X4 to entertain myself...

That's what I do when I get board...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Entertainment puns

I have two favorite titles that are extremely clever puns.

β€œShawn the Sheep” β€œDexter”

β€œShawn the Sheep” is a sly play on the dialect of the characters in the animation. β€œShawn” and β€œshorn” have the same pronunciation in the dialect of the outskirts of Bristol, UK.

β€œDexter” is a wonderful Latin pun. β€œDexter” is the word for β€œright” and β€œSinister” is the implied compliment, the word for β€œleft” in Latin. Dexter is a series about a serial killer who only murders those guilty of crimes. His name in Latin implies he is the opposite of sinister, right or just.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipindy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My grandfather was an entertainer in a belt factory.

He’d walk from one area to the next, telling stories and jokes which built upon each other. Week after week, he kept the line workers entertained with his complex jokes. One day, he was fired when he forgot the hole punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eruditeredditor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What's a peasant's favorite form of entertainment?

Family feudalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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Lockdown entertainment
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ehowlett92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.

It was quite the shindig

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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3 yr old grandson says, "Papa, where's my sword?"

Papa, "What colour is it?"

3 yr old, "Blue."

Papa, "Where did you see it last?"

3 yr old: "In my hand."

Endless entertainment!

Edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UhmBah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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One thing is almost certain about the adult entertainment industry in light of covid-19:

It's going tits up.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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A rock star's Journey

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AShiggles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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What is a fish's primary entertainment source?

Live stream.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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The marine biology seminars weren't for entertainment,

but were created for educational porpoises.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GobAteMyHamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I was putting the outlet cover back on the wall while my wife was working at the computer with her back to me...

She said β€œwhat are you doing? What is that noise?” I said β€œI’ve been screwing around behind your back.” She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.

I found it way more entertaining then she did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthritictongue
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I don’t know how to make good titles so I’m writing this to duck out of the responsibility of entertaining you.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Pork-Chop-57
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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No entertainment at all.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/veknilero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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I got a big promotion! I'm now the Electronic Innovation and Entertainment Information Officer for Elderly McDonald's Agricultural Enterprises.

I can't wait to put E.I.E.I.O. on my resume!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nesogra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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Every year, a local farmer cuts certain parts of his corn crop before harvest for the entertainment of many who like to get lost.

They do their best to navigate that maize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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You’ve been watching tv for entertainment!?

My whole life I’ve been making sure it didn’t leave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robbiewesters
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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I want to hire a group of professional hackers

To antagonize a local QT and mess with their registers. That way I can get a snack, wait in line and every five minutes say, punctually, "Man, this quick trip is taking a long time."

It'll be my entertainment for an afternoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brydaro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What's a pirates favorite form of entertainment?

Arrrrr rated films.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeonneRose
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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Selling a Besta entertainment center imgur.com/ww9pDgg
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trigunnerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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3 engineers were arguing about who designed the human body

1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity

2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one

3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstharothaZe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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There was a man that wanted to quit his job as a kids party entertainer but kept on procrastinating. Then one day he woke up and said to himself...

No more clowning around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrielc0208
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Where do cows go for entertainment?

The moovies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/error_glitch_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Name checks out
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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What lasts for a minute and is entertaining to listen to?

This joke and an anti vaxxer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xiloar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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someone asked me if i wanted to watch Black Entertainment Television...

i said BET

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_raider1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
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What do you call a funny condiment?

A sauce of endless entertainment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveTendo
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Despite the name, these forks aren't particularly entertaining. imgur.com/sRZocf7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeroTo325
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2015
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I don't think Jeremy Clarkson or Richard Hammond know what they're doing...

But James May

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propane13
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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Wanna play a game?

>!Peek-A-Boo!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Entertained a long elevator ride today...

Why is corn the best audience?

They are all ears.

*elevator music intensifies

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πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...

I Binged and purged.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjabrony
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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My dad entertaining himself during clothes shopping today.

https://imgur.com/gallery/0zVBc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneToughMuffin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2017
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Which breakfast cereal is the most entertaining?

Amuesli.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ManyaraImpala
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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Asked my 3 yr old if she wanted to see Toy Story 4.

She said, "What's Toy Story 4?"

"Entertainment," I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmethvin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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I was handing the wife a copy of Entertainment Weekly...

..and I said "this is Strange.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleLoMein
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
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What did the head of the entertainment company do when someone threatened her family?

Warner Brothers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wxlson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2015
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