My grandfather is still mad at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.

I explained to him that it was the Americans who made the movie.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party

for all in tents and porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I was out at Harbor Freight today with my dad getting gloves for welding, he said they fit perfect.

I said, "Like a glove."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FatKidFromTarget
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I deci

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandpa is still pissed off at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.

I had to tell him that it was the Americans who made that movie.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Dude, are you at the harbor tonight?

Jea man, for shore!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?

Because she can't lay down

(Old guy at work told me this today)

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
So we went down to the beach to see the harbor seals...

All they did was flip us off

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radakail
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
While watching Pearl Harbor with my dad

As one of the ships was being bombed, sailors were jumping into the water around the ship and then drowning. I made the comment, "It's weird how so many people join the navy without being able to swim."

My dad replied, "That's nothing. I don't know a single person in the air force who can fly."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyborg_Nate
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
A history one
πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pullin_trigger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Every wonder why British people pronounce it as β€œBri ish”?

It’s because the Tea was thrown into the Boston Harbour

Disclaimer: Not my joke

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlqreOrigin09
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
And now we are onto the Late News!

Hitler invades Poland, Japan attacks Pearl Harbor, and the Tripartite Pact has been signed!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kcir-dellor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Timmy the tugboat captain would never forgive his peers after they would steal barge-moving jobs from him.

He definitely harbored a grudge.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Today's a holiday in Mexico (OCBQPNU*)

Today, Mexicans celebrate the torpedoing of the U.S.S. Hellmans in the Mexico City harbor.

*Original Content But Quite Possibly Not Unique

P.S. Yes, I know where Mexico City is.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zEdgarHoover
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Bf is on leave Friday from the navy, need navy sex pun!

TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeHappy402
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report
An escaped prisoner was captured down at the docks.

They were harboring a fugitive.

πŸ‘︎ 363
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Learn Chinese in 5 min

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

  1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
  2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
  3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
  4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
  5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
  6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
  7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
  9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
  10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
  11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
  12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
  13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
  14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
  15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edg0023
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The tale of Ivan Ivanavich (Long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himsel

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Entophreak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Dads shit-wisdom

A few months ago we took a road trip to the more northern part of Washington, Friday Harbor. On our way, my father decided he needed to the bathroom. To which he said to momentarily our silent car. " I have to take a shit, can we hit the next rest stop?" (Everyone agrees as normal. Then about 45 seconds, to a minute later dad says this) "I don't get it, why is it called taking a shit? I'm leaving one!)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShellyMarsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.