Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?
They looked at the reviews... only 1 star
I've heard that if you exercise, drink plenty of water, and get enough sleep, your brain might nominate you for a prestigious award. I haven't won yet but I'm still trying!
I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....
Now they have started sending me threatening letters.
To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021
Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?
In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.
The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....
I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.
I haven’t had a haircut in months, and I normally hate long hair, but I told my wife...
You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,
Why haven’t they found Noah’s Ark?
Because it’s Noah to be found.
I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet
But I'm sure more may flower in time.
I haven't been to the gym in years
It's been so long that I've gone back to calling it James
My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.
I told him that’s an outstanding question.
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet
Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks
You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
I haven’t showered for 3 months
I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!
I hope you haven't seen this before, but it needs to be reposted.
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.
Because that would be entirely too long.
Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks
I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM
I haven’t slept for 6 days.
Because that would be too long.
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
I spent four months working out and still haven't got any abs...
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Since the quarantine started I haven't gotten a haircut. I wish I could just stop it where it's at
I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.
I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.
My mom that I haven’t seen in two years said welcome back.
I have a front to you know
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, I haven't seen your kind here before! What'll you have?"
I haven’t been able find my pet turtle for the past few months
Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.
2 fish haven't seen each other for weeks
so they decided to meet up at one of them's plaice
I haven’t seen this model before
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...
...it's always been holding me back.
I haven't shaved in three months!
I didn't like the beard at first, but I gotta admit, it's growing on me.
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
Haven’t seen many Minecraft puns on here, so here’s one for you guys
Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?
Me: I have no idea what he's for.
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?
Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!
I haven't heard from my italian friend for a while now
I'm starting to think he pasta away
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.
People who haven’t pooped in September
Why are you holding onto last month’s shit?
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
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