Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?

They looked at the reviews... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belpix0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Termin201
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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I've heard that if you exercise, drink plenty of water, and get enough sleep, your brain might nominate you for a prestigious award. I haven't won yet but I'm still trying!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Traikan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021

Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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The bank want to repossess my tree house. They say I haven't kept up my mortgage payments....

I'm convinced it's a mix up from when I moved branches.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
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I haven’t had a haircut in months, and I normally hate long hair, but I told my wife...

It’s growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBones90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
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You do realize that it's biblically correct for a man to make the coffee. Haven't you ever read the book,

Hebrews

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Why haven’t they found Noah’s Ark?

Because it’s Noah to be found.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet

But I'm sure more may flower in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I haven't been to the gym in years

It's been so long that I've gone back to calling it James

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AusSpyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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My coworker asked what it’s called when you ask something but haven’t gotten an answer yet.

I told him that’s an outstanding question.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t showered for 3 months

I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T0PP00PER199
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawzeeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope you haven't seen this before, but it needs to be reposted.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.

Because that would be entirely too long.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/attemptednotknown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks

I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d7my_d7oom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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I haven’t slept for 6 days.

Because that would be too long.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 208
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I spent four months working out and still haven't got any abs...

What a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ana_tommy16
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkRune23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Since the quarantine started I haven't gotten a haircut. I wish I could just stop it where it's at

but it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lancalot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.

I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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My mom that I haven’t seen in two years said welcome back.

I have a front to you know

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninja-Chef
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...

"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, I haven't seen your kind here before! What'll you have?"

"Pop." goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickwitenzen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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I haven’t been able find my pet turtle for the past few months

Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegoodwookie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
2 fish haven't seen each other for weeks

so they decided to meet up at one of them's plaice

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RafDL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
People who haven’t pooped in September

Why are you holding onto last month’s shit?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I haven’t seen this model before
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fineswords
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...

...it's always been holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't shaved in three months!

I didn't like the beard at first, but I gotta admit, it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GunsAndCoffee1911
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.

Usually it is due to lack of money

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDRC
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven’t seen many Minecraft puns on here, so here’s one for you guys
πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr10blu3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

Me: I have no idea what he's for.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I haven't heard from my italian friend for a while now

I'm starting to think he pasta away

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimJamesJimmothy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisgood12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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