I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet
But I'm sure more may flower in time.
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet
Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.
You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"
I haven’t showered for 3 months
I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
I hope you haven't seen this before, but it needs to be reposted.
Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks
I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.
Because that would be entirely too long.
I haven’t slept for 6 days.
Because that would be too long.
I spent four months working out and still haven't got any abs...
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
My mom that I haven’t seen in two years said welcome back.
I have a front to you know
I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.
I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.
Since the quarantine started I haven't gotten a haircut. I wish I could just stop it where it's at
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
2 fish haven't seen each other for weeks
so they decided to meet up at one of them's plaice
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, I haven't seen your kind here before! What'll you have?"
I haven’t been able find my pet turtle for the past few months
Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.
People who haven’t pooped in September
Why are you holding onto last month’s shit?
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...
...it's always been holding me back.
I haven't shaved in three months!
I didn't like the beard at first, but I gotta admit, it's growing on me.
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?
Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!
I haven't had much fun since the last time I was abroad.
Things just haven't been the same since the surgery.
I haven’t seen this model before
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.
Usually it is due to lack of money
Haven't gotten to see my friend in awhile.
So I text him, let's get some burgers and ketchup.
Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?
Me: I have no idea what he's for.
I haven't heard from my italian friend for a while now
I'm starting to think he pasta away
Haven’t seen many Minecraft puns on here, so here’s one for you guys
I'm trying for a title based on a song but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Just in case you haven't seen this before.
My boss at the movie theatre asked me why I haven't sold any M&M's
I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.
I haven’t pooped in five days.
But I don’t feel shitty about it.
I haven't worked in over a year.
Don't tell my boss I said that.
Haven't been able to find the channel changer in a few days
It must be in a remote location
Recently I lost my little Corgi. I haven’t been able to find him.
I guess he went incorgnito.
Haven’t spoke to my wife for the last three weeks
Didn’t want to interrupt.
Actually a wife joke, but I haven't laughed so hard at a one liner in a while.
Last night my wife and I were talking. We've been married 20 years. She was just laying on me and it can get hard to breathe like that. She noticed I was struggling to breathe and said, "At least I still take your breath away."
An old woman goes to see the doctor. "I'm very gassy, but fortunately my farts are quiet and don't smell. In fact, I've farted three times since you came in, but know you haven't noticed at all."
The doc nods his head, gives her some pills and tells her to come back in a week.
A week later, the old woman comes back and is very upset. "I'm still very gassy, but now my farts are really loud and smell like a porta-potty at a chili festival!"
The doc says "Well now that we've cleared up your hearing and sense of smell, we can do something about your gas!"
I haven’t been ‘trained’ enough to come up with a good title
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet ?
The looked at the reviews.....only 1 star
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