I haven't seen many Thanksgiving puns yet

But I'm sure more may flower in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/E420CDI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe chickens haven't come up with a new sound yet

Maybe they should start thinking outside the bawks

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
In 2017 I didn't jog. In 2018 I didn't jog. In 2019 I didn't jog. In 2020 I still haven't jogged.

This is a running joke.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
You probably haven’t heard of that new movie, "Constipation"

It hasn’t come out yet.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t showered for 3 months

I don’t know why I’d be in the shower that long, just think of the water bill that’d make!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T0PP00PER199
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother who works in a tannery has gone missing. We haven't seen hair nor hide of him.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope you haven't seen this before, but it needs to be reposted.
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven't got laid in so long I'm getting turned on by Dwayne Johnson's buttocks

I think I'm hitting ROCK BOTTOM

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d7my_d7oom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.

Because that would be entirely too long.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/attemptednotknown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t slept for 6 days.

Because that would be too long.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I spent four months working out and still haven't got any abs...

What a waist of time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ana_tommy16
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 211
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My mom that I haven’t seen in two years said welcome back.

I have a front to you know

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninja-Chef
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't lost a game of tennis in over a decade.

I also haven't played a game of tennis in over a decade.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Since the quarantine started I haven't gotten a haircut. I wish I could just stop it where it's at

but it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lancalot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkRune23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...

"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
2 fish haven't seen each other for weeks

so they decided to meet up at one of them's plaice

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RafDL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, I haven't seen your kind here before! What'll you have?"

"Pop." goes the weasel.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickwitenzen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t been able find my pet turtle for the past few months

Turns out he’s just been sheltering in place.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegoodwookie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
People who haven’t pooped in September

Why are you holding onto last month’s shit?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Arrgh, I finally figured out why I haven't been successful in my pirate career, it's all because of my spine...

...it's always been holding me back.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't shaved in three months!

I didn't like the beard at first, but I gotta admit, it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GunsAndCoffee1911
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't had much fun since the last time I was abroad.

Things just haven't been the same since the surgery.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farores_Favored
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t seen this model before
πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fineswords
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
This is going to be the first year that I haven't taken a vacation in Paris, because of the pandemic.

Usually it is due to lack of money

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDRC
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven't gotten to see my friend in awhile.

So I text him, let's get some burgers and ketchup.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cfox1B
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

Me: I have no idea what he's for.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't heard from my italian friend for a while now

I'm starting to think he pasta away

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimJamesJimmothy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven’t seen many Minecraft puns on here, so here’s one for you guys
πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr10blu3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm trying for a title based on a song but I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Just in case you haven't seen this before.
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acres41
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss at the movie theatre asked me why I haven't sold any M&M's

I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t pooped in five days.

But I don’t feel shitty about it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vausebox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven't worked in over a year.

Don't tell my boss I said that.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven't been able to find the channel changer in a few days

It must be in a remote location

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreamsD351GN
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Recently I lost my little Corgi. I haven’t been able to find him.

I guess he went incorgnito.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Haven’t spoke to my wife for the last three weeks

Didn’t want to interrupt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LDJ007
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Actually a wife joke, but I haven't laughed so hard at a one liner in a while.

Last night my wife and I were talking. We've been married 20 years. She was just laying on me and it can get hard to breathe like that. She noticed I was struggling to breathe and said, "At least I still take your breath away."

πŸ‘︎ 717
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funless
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
An old woman goes to see the doctor. "I'm very gassy, but fortunately my farts are quiet and don't smell. In fact, I've farted three times since you came in, but know you haven't noticed at all."

The doc nods his head, gives her some pills and tells her to come back in a week.

A week later, the old woman comes back and is very upset. "I'm still very gassy, but now my farts are really loud and smell like a porta-potty at a chili festival!"

The doc says "Well now that we've cleared up your hearing and sense of smell, we can do something about your gas!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I haven’t been β€˜trained’ enough to come up with a good title
πŸ‘︎ 254
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pluey200
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawzeeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisgood12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grag01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet ?

The looked at the reviews.....only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report

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