There was a croc in the harbour this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CeaganP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Driving through the harbour tunnel in Baltimore, I asked my kids to tell me if they see anything interesting in the tunnel...

They said there was nothing interesting, just tiles and other cars. I said that's because the tunnel is "bored".

They didn't get it. I told them you have to dig deep for that one.

Eventually they got it, and told me to stop telling bad jokes. I wanted to see how low I could go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcjgreen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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A pirate ship pulls into harbour after a long voyage at sea

The captain tells his crew to go out into the town and spend some well earned time off, but to be back at midnight. The crew all go into town and the captain stays in his quarters on the ship.

Midnight comes and the crew still aren't back, so the captain figures they'll all be at the tavern having a drink so he walks in and finds it empty. The captain approaches the bartender and says "YARR, have ye seen me Buccaneers?" , the bartender turn to him and says "YEAH, they're on the side of your buckin' head under yer buckin' hat!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaHunter93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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Atop the Sydney Harbour Bridge, my dad pulled this one off

Dad: So how many climbs do you do in a day?

Tour guy: Today I have three. We've never had a full 24hrs, come close to it though. One day I started at 3am, and finished the next morning at 1am, we then had another tour at 3am.

Dad: I guess you could say that you almost bridged the gap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QueerlyPerfect
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
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Why do British people say they’re β€œbri’ish”?

Because they drank the T

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eThunderSnow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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Where did the magician go to find missing trees?

The harbour, so he could make them a pier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Why was the Boston Tea Party illegal?

It was destruction of Private Proper Tea!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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My son dad joked me...

Driving passed a harbour and my son points out a "boat" which I explained is actually a ferry, he then says to me "Yes daddy it's a ferry big boat..." He's only 4...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crunchy132
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2017
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Why do Americans remove U from their words?

They already threw all the T into Boston harbour and knew the British would try to tax the Us next.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Starayo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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An Apple A Day Will Keep The Doctor Away...

IF YOU THROW IT HARD ENOUGH!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boop66
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2017
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The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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