Usher responds: “10-Q”
Man responds: “You’re welcome. Now what’s my seat number?”
Which is weird. Lincoln usually doesn’t do too well in theatres.
Its because everyone in the play is in a cast
She said, 'Are you having me on?'
I said, 'I'll give you an audition but I'm not promising anything.'
Moist Bush.
Thespian Network
It was a show of hands...
I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.
It was a play on words.
It was a play on words
I can solve a problem like Maria.
It's baffling.
But when I got there, the streets were empty with only a small sign saying that there would be no show today because it was the Ferrous Duelers' Day Off.
“Well, the movie ended, so...”
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
So I might let my coliseum.
I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.
He said: No, people were dying to have that job.
Sorry if something like this has already been posted.
.... they were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
...and steals the spotlight.
They got 2 Large Cokes, a Large Popcorn, and a box of Skittles.
Reports say that he stole the spotlight
He stole the spotlight.
Edit: has broken* sorry
Good thing I have a few Twix up my sleeve!
His performance was kind of wooden.
They seem pretty staged.
It was called "a play on words".
...it’s just a stage I’m going through.
Several years ago my wife and I were the only two in a movie theater when an older guy (70ish) came in and very slowly moved to the row we were in and went to sit in the seat right next to me. I looked at my wife with a "can you believe this?" face.
Just as the guy's butt hit the chair he looked at us and said "gotcha!" Then sprang up and went to a seat several rows away chuckling to himself as if he does that all the time. Never said anything else to us, just loving his old man life and trolling strangers at the movies.
Everything they do is STAGED.
It's a play on words.
Personally I think the whole rebellion thing was staged
They're too racy.
So my family goes to watch this Bollywood mystery movie. We get there a little late, and there's only space for us at the very front row. Upon sitting in our seats my dad says "I'm so glad we're sitting at the front."
Hearing this I said "What, these are the worst seats possible."
He says back to me "At least we'll know the ending before any of these suckers."
I heard people behind me groan.
Because it cantaloupe
Ordering snacks to eat during a movie. My dad orders a large popcorn, 2 drinks, and some candy. The employee gets everything, we pay and as we are walking away:
Employee: "Enjoy the movie"
Dad: "What movie?"
He walks off towards the door...
So I just realized that my "epic" theatre joke is also a dadjoke.
Now this requires some explaining before I get to the joke. I just completed my 55th theatre production - mostly community theatre; most designing and running sound, but I get on stage sometimes. A decade or so ago, I came up with a terrible pun. Told it, got groans, and promptly forgot about it.
A production or two later, someone said - "Hey, aren't you going to tell your joke?" It took a little prompting to remind me of it. Once I was reminded, I told the joke - to more groans.
I enjoyed the groans so much - and was touched that someone remembered the joke that I'd forgotten. So I did decide it was going to forevermore be: THE JOKE.
So the NEXT production, I started warning people that "The Joke" was coming. One or two remembered the previous time I'd told it, and reacted - "Oh god. Please no."
So now it has truly become a thing. Every production I'm in, I start reminding people that The Joke is coming, and the reactions from those who know the joke really help set up the anticipation.
So finally it happens. Most theatre productions I've been in run Fri-Sat-Sun performances. And thus, as I explain, I can only tell The Joke after the last Friday night's performance ends, and before the last Saturday's performance begins. It shifts if the days are different because The Joke depends on the number of remaining shows.
So, finally that time period comes, and I explain that I can only tell the joke during that time period, only the once per production - from auditions to strike - and that we're in that period of time.... which is known as.... the "cancer period". AND would you like to know WHY this period of time is known as the "cancer period"?
(at which point the tension for the punchline is usually quite palpable)
"Because we have...... TUMOR!" (as I hold up two fingers).
This is usually followed by shouts to "GET OUT!" and threats of violence against my person. hehehe
And the NEXT time, when I start warning that "The Joke" is coming, most of these groan "Oh god... no...." and helps set it up for the next poor bunch of folks who haven't yet heard it. :)
This happened a few years ago, but I only just discovered this sub, so here it is. Friend's dad took a few of us to see 300 in IMAX. There were a couple big digital marquees with the movie names and times once we got inside. One of them included "RESTROOM" on the bottom. We thought this was hilarious and started saying "let's go see Restroom instead! It sounds great! Hahaha."
Friend's dad turns to us with a completely straight face and says, "Nah, I heard it stinks."
Made a trip to DC by myself and went to Ford's Theatre as part of the trip. I uploaded a couple picture's I took into an album and made a brief description of each, because I knew my family would be interested in looking. Then my father, who is normally a very silent man who rarely ever smiles (let alone cracks a joke), commented this.
Simple, yet effective.
Because every play has a cast
and steals the spotlight.
He stole the spotlight
