Why did someone lose their job at the Pixar cinema?

They forgot to show Up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I guess you could call it a cinema ticket...

But I think it should be called a Tenet-see agreement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cybot2001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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They want to open a floating cinema in Paris with drive-in boats.

I just think that's in Seine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.

Well...

I’ve got a few twix up my sleeve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lexflexluthor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Someone forced me to watch a horror movie about clowns by punching me all the way to the cinema.

They beat me to IT.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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A Plain Bun and a Vanilla cream Bun goes to the cinema

During the sad movie, the Vanilla cream Bun cried while the Plain Bun did not... Why?

  • Cause the Vanilla cream Bun had fillings~

The Vanilla cream Bun went to the cinema again but this time with the Chocolate cream Bun. However, the Chocolate cream Bun cried but not the Vanilla cream Bun... Why?

  • Cause the buns has different fillings~
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0oomo00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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What do you call a cow at the cinema?

A moovie fan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtrasour37
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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β€ͺMy wife used to be a cinema usherette.

I didn’t know until our wedding day when she walked down the aisle backwards.‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Have you seen the latest pirate movie out in cinemas?

It's rated aRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Cinema
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommuBoy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films.

He forgot to show Up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Guy who owns the local cinema has died.

His funeral is on Monday at 12:10, 14:20 and 18:40.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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People often ask me how I smuggle so much chocolate into the cinemas...

Well, I have a few Twix up my sleeve!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothepropellor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
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A guy asked me if I did work as the person who looks after the film's as they ran at the cinema

I told him no, he was just projecting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MySoxSmell
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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My dad in the cinema

A good few months ago, my dad and I were at the theatre watching The Hobbit Part 2: The Desolation of Smaug. As the movie finished and Smaug flew towards Laketown, my dad said loudly, "Well this is really draggin' on". I groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ginger-saurus-rex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
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The other day i looked down on a cinema filled with fish fingers

It was a birds eye vue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonhinchliffe10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
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Why are fish easy to weigh?

They have their own scales!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ct2k7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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One of the most underrated animated films ever
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punnettome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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My Great Grandad knew what was going to happen to the Titanic...

He told everyone he could and you know what they did?

Kicked him out of the Cinema.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedi_Llama154
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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What do watch enthusiasts and indie guys have in common?

Tudor Cinema Club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cp-photo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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My Parents Dating Life Summed Up

"Your mum and I went on quite a few dates before we got engaged. I took her out for dinner eight times and went to the cinema once to see Batman.

So, to sum up our dating life it went dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner BATMAN!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mullza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2015
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Waiting for Spider-man

I went to see the new spider-man movie today, and they were a bit slow cleaning the cinema from the previous showing (probably because of everyone sticking around for the post-credits scene), so a bunch of us were hanging out outside.

A guy with two kids walks up and says "Are you waiting for Spider-man?" one of the folks waiting says yes, and the dad says, "Oh well, I'm sure he'll swing by soon."

I gave him a nod of respect. Thought you guys would appreciate too.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2017
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My grandfather told me that he saw the Titanic. He warned everyone that it would sink but nobody would listen.

He told people a few more times and then he was kicked out of the cinema.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mac2sallad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Every.Damn.Movie.

Sitting in the cinema when the trailers end and the light comes up for a minute before the real movie starts.

Dad: "Well, well what a nice movie, wasn't it? A little short but still..." pretends to stand up and leave

On rare occasions I have seen two dads do the pretending to leave thing at the same fucking time. It's like the universal dadjoke one has to perform at least once before entering the magic league of joking dads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SUCCESSFUL_DUDE
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
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Dad dropped this one over dinner

So the family was eating out and we were talking about films we were excited for. He suggested Thor 2 and we all disagreed. He than said: Im exited for Thor 5 because than i can go to the cinema and say "1 too see Thor 5".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whalley42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
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joke of the day

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, β€œSo, you were at school today, right?”

Son: β€œYeah.”

Detector: β€œBeep.β€œ

Son: β€œOK, OK, I was in a cinema.”

Detector: β€œBeep.”

Son: β€œAlright, I went for a beer with my friends.”

Father: β€œWhat?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!β€œ

Detector: β€œBeep.”

Mother laughs: β€œHa ha ha, well, he really is your son!”

Detector: β€œBeep.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sachinunchwal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2016
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A Dad joke from my mate.

It's probably unusable by Dad's but it's still very Dadish.

Every time me and my mate (us 20) do something that requires i'd (pub, cinema) he will say just after the person serving us hands us back our id's "These fake i.d's work a treat don't they."

Every fucking time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crumbford
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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My own dad didn't understand my dad joke.

Walking out of the cinema from watching A White Christmas he asked me how I liked it. I said "pretty good, but I think I would have liked Google Crosby more."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuskenRaiders
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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