I’ve always been disappointed Nike and Mountain Dew never did a collab

Just Dew It

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLTakenusername
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What happens when two drops of dew are attracted to each other?

They get a due date.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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When they run out of ingredients at the Mt. Dew factory they have to make Dew with what they've got.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldschooldads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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My dad asked me which Super Bowl commercial I liked better, the Doritos one or the Mountain Dew one.

I told him, "It's a tie, dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonnaPinciotti420
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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What do you call a mountain dew stain?

Mountain residew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Northerra
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicstradamus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
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My coworkers can judge all they want; it's my cubicle and I'll dew waterever I want. imgur.com/egcHzrc
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dishie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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What do you say to someone who drinks an entire glass of what they think is Mountain Dew but isn't?

urine idiot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobzilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WolfGoesHowell
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2016
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Texted my dad asking if he could pick me up a can of Mountain Dew.

His reply?

Can dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/double0nothing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My boyfriend's Dad's response to my Mountain Dew Baja Blast

"Oh you got that blue drank? ........it's a hip hop joke"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r_giraffe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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People don’t believe that grass is wet in the morning.

But it dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superuglypotate
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.

My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superj89
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My wife asked me, β€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, β€œI don’t see myself doing that.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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What do you call a cheesy baby deer on your lawn in the morning?

Fawn dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMoy1980
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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Condensation really isn't the best way to water your lawn...

But it'll make dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i4mb4tm4n
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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People don’t think the grass be wet in the morning

But it Dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
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Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.

Otherwise, you just have to make dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lookinatspam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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Water you dewing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobdynomite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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RIP boiled water

You will be mist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds...

I hadn’t the foggiest idea what I mist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruminino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Why do melons have to wait so long to get married?

Because they cantaloupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChildishHambino11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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What's a cats favorite drink ?

Meowtain Dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Get it?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffreynbooboo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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I made a meme for all yew wonderful people
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikerpoler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?

I guess we'll just have to make dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aserthreto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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I tried catching some fog today...

I mist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fildo_Daggins
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.

They're over dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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10 Stupid Puns
  1. My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time. I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly." We are not friends anymore. (True Story)

  2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

  3. I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But IΒ mistΒ my chance. I guess I couldΒ dewΒ itΒ tomorrow!

  4. Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.

  5. Why do eggs hate jokes? The answers always crack them up!

  6. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"

  7. Somebody stole all my lamps…. And I couldn't be more de-lighted!

  8. I once met a pig that did karate… We called him Pork Chop!

  9. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!

  10. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!

(Source For All Puns Except The First) https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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I've been so bored lately that I've been sprinkling water on people's lawns in the morning.

It gives me something to dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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I stopped watering my lawn, but it still looks great! I'm not bragging.

I give credit where credit is dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?

Well, I guess we’ll just have to make dew!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Mashup pun needed

I’m headed to a Halloween mashup party this weekend and I need a costume - think β€œEggs and Hamlet” or β€œBrokeback Mountain Dew” or β€œZom-bee” - I felt like the reddit pun world might be able to hook me up - any suggestions?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rockStree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Fruit romance

Honey dew you love me?

I love you berry much

I think we are a good pear.

Ohh berry sweet! Grape puns!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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Man I hate grapes

Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mjk2581
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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In the summer, I earn money by sprinkling tiny drops of water every morning on the front yards of rich people.

I don’t earn much, but I make dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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My favourite dad joke of all time

Me: β€œDad, did you get a hair cut?”

Dad: β€œNo son, I got them all cut”

Anyone else have this happen every single time you notice your dads new hair dew? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottoncandy10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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Where does Dr. Pepper live?

On Mountain Dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyborgcolin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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What type soda do you get covered in if you sleep under the stars?

Mountain Dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakewilson801
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What do you call water on a chicken?

Hen-dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/echo042
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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How does one grass blade greet another grass blade?

Water you dewing?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Why do leaves hang low in the mornings?

because of all of their dews and responsibilities.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Some people think grass isn't wet in the morning.

But it dew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberSARL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
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People don't think the grass be wet in the morning ...

But it dew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheShamrockRover
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
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