In a galaxy far far away, you have to just DEW IT!
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/seesakogoli
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
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What do you call a mountain dew stain?

Mountain residew.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Northerra
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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When they run out of ingredients at the Mt. Dew factory they have to make Dew with what they've got.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/oldschooldads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
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My dad asked me which Super Bowl commercial I liked better, the Doritos one or the Mountain Dew one.

I told him, "It's a tie, dad"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DonnaPinciotti420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 21 2018
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What do you say to someone who drinks an entire glass of what they think is Mountain Dew but isn't?

urine idiot

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bobzilla
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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My coworkers can judge all they want; it's my cubicle and I'll dew waterever I want. imgur.com/egcHzrc
๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dishie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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Dews on the Schindler's lift (1944, colourised)
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BreadCrumbBandit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
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What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?

You will be mist.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nicstradamus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2016
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๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WolfGoesHowell
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 02 2016
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Texted my dad asking if he could pick me up a can of Mountain Dew.

His reply?

Can dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/double0nothing
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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My boyfriend's Dad's response to my Mountain Dew Baja Blast

"Oh you got that blue drank? ........it's a hip hop joke"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/r_giraffe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 16 2014
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I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.

My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Superj89
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18
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My wife asked me, โ€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?โ€

I said, โ€œI donโ€™t see myself doing that.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 22
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What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?

I guess we'll just have to make dew.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aserthreto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05
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I've been so bored lately that I've been sprinkling water on people's lawns in the morning.

It gives me something to dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04
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I stopped watering my lawn, but it still looks great! I'm not bragging.

I give credit where credit is dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16
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What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?

Well, I guess weโ€™ll just have to make dew!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 09
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10 Stupid Puns
  1. My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time. I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly." We are not friends anymore. (True Story)

  2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

  3. I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morningโ€ฆ But Iย mistย my chance. I guess I couldย dewย itย tomorrow!

  4. Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.

  5. Why do eggs hate jokes? The answers always crack them up!

  6. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"

  7. Somebody stole all my lampsโ€ฆ. And I couldn't be more de-lighted!

  8. I once met a pig that did karateโ€ฆ We called him Pork Chop!

  9. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!

  10. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!

(Source For All Puns Except The First) https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/punsdaily
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30
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In a galaxy far far away!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stha118
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds...

I hadnโ€™t the foggiest idea what I mist.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ruminino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Water you dewing?
๐Ÿ‘︎ 40
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jacobdynomite
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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Get it?
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jeffreynbooboo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
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I tried catching some fog today...

I mist.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fildo_Daggins
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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I made a meme for all yew wonderful people
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pikerpoler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Mashup pun needed

Iโ€™m headed to a Halloween mashup party this weekend and I need a costume - think โ€œEggs and Hamletโ€ or โ€œBrokeback Mountain Dewโ€ or โ€œZom-beeโ€ - I felt like the reddit pun world might be able to hook me up - any suggestions?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rockStree
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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Fruit romance

Honey dew you love me?

I love you berry much

I think we are a good pear.

Ohh berry sweet! Grape puns!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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In the summer, I earn money by sprinkling tiny drops of water every morning on the front yards of rich people.

I donโ€™t earn much, but I make dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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My favourite dad joke of all time

Me: โ€œDad, did you get a hair cut?โ€

Dad: โ€œNo son, I got them all cutโ€

Anyone else have this happen every single time you notice your dads new hair dew? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Scottoncandy10
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What type soda do you get covered in if you sleep under the stars?

Mountain Dew

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jakewilson801
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Man I hate grapes

Grapes suck man, I mean potatoes they're appealing ;) and can even grow back even after being smashed ;) out drunk, but grapes they just get drunk and wine and wine and wine ;), oh and corn, god who needs corn, they just party but pop off ;) for no reason, they say after its waters temper ;) but... well I guess water is not good either, they get angry and just boil ;) over... oh and I heard some news about tomatoes they had an affair with cherries ;), I heard that tomatoes wife is gonna get revenge by dewing grass ;), but I can only say one thing the plant party was wild last night.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mjk2581
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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What do you call water on a chicken?

Hen-dew.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/echo042
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2019
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How does one grass blade greet another grass blade?

Water you dewing?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lan_chop
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Where does Dr. Pepper live?

On Mountain Dew

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cyborgcolin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Why do leaves hang low in the mornings?

because of all of their dews and responsibilities.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/buttengine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Son: what happens to fog when it disappears?

Dad: It makes dew

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jwlkr70
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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I tend to give money to homeless people, who I find sleeping on the grass, on a winter morning.

I always give credit where it's dew.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sodomicity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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Whatโ€™s a cats favorite soda?

Meowtain Dew

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mbelldrums
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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I went for a hike to watch the sunrise and saw a group of young deer frolicking in the morning mist.

It was a fawn dew party.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PunnedItPundit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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It's about time we got some wet grass.

I think it is dew.

(/r/jokes kicked me over here with my humble offering)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PhilipWaterford
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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When will it rain?

In dew time.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tomdelfino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
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Why couldn't the melons get married right away?

Because they can't elope.

Why did they want to get married?

Because that honey was dew!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thecoffeeroaster
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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My Wife Didn't Get It At First

So my wife went in to the local convenience store to get us slushies, I asked for a red one. Here was our conversation when she came out.

Her: I got you Mountain Dew because the red wasn't ready.

Me: So was it bluey?

Her: ...

Me: staring at her with a shit eating grin

Her: Yeah I get it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dylanfarnum
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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Nature is so resourceful

It can make dew with just water

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Error404_Missingno
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2016
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Went to the zoo today with my family.

We eventually got to the gibbon exhibit where my son noticed one of them hanging off the cage, grunting and pooping.

Son: Oh jeez, Dad look at that.

Me: He's gibbon it all he's got.

To which my sister about choked on her mountain dew

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JahWeir
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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