Huey, Dewey, and Louie's Irish uncle that makes a mean burger

Mcdonald

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.

He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Whenever I drive past a Dewey Pest Control

"I don't know, do you?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2017
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Company password

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacremento"

When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsAndIT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Librarians love a good joke...

They always get the reference!

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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How does the computer programmer order all her books?

By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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If you're injured, call the law offices of...

Passing a billboard for the law offices of Powell, Powell, and Powell, I said to my wife, "Those are the attorneys I would call."

"Why?"

"They're obviously the most Powell-ful firm in town."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hossalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2016
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Did you ever hear of the librarian who died under a pile of books?

She had only her shelf to blame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OVdose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
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Why can't I find any decimals around here?

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chopperfive
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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What’s Donald Duck’s favorite band?

Huey dewey lewis and the news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BValen7ine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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I have a system for organizing the beverages in my refrigerator.

I use the Mountain Dewey decimal system.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jikado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
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Did you hear about the librarian who fainted?

He was out of circulation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lichorat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2012
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
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Making dadjokes when you can barely talk isn't easy, but I did it.

At work today, a friend of mine came in with two dried Carolina Reaper peppers. If you aren't familiar with these bad boys, they are hotter than Lucifer's testicles themselves. 2.2 Million Scoville units. Two times hotter than the ghost pepper.

To put it into perspective, a jalapeno is about 5000 scoville units. This one was 2.2 fucking million.

Anyway. I walked past my buddy's desk and he asked if I wanted some of the pepper.

OF COURSE I DID!!!

He gave me 1/4 of one of these little peppers and he even dared me to chew it for 15 seconds before swallowing. Which I did. To say that my mouth felt like the burning hemorrhoids of satans budding asshole would be a vast understatement.

One of the girls who sat near my buddy looks at me -- pacing back and forth around the room, sweating, crying -- and she says:

>"Cane-Dewey, are you alright!?"

I could barely breathe let alone speak. But through all the pain and angush, I still managed to mutter out:

>"No, I'm half left.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2014
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My dad's arsenal of DadJokes.

If someone asks him if he is alright:

"No, I'm half left too!"


At a restaurant:

Server: "Hi, My name is Julie, I'll be taking care of you today"

Dad: "Hi, My name is Cane-Dewey's Dad, I'll be sitting here today"


Someone asks him: "How are you?"

Dad: "If I was any better, I'd be twins!"


And that's about it. That's his arsenal. I've heard these a million times at this point, and they are just now starting to get funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cane-Dewey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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Passed a sign for "Dewey Pest Control"

"I don't know, do you pest control or not?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2015
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