The Covid19 situation has been particularly stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear social distancing measures will push someone over the edge.
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
Jeff it looks like you’re in a ruff situation..
My friend to said to me "there's no situation where a contraction makes sense but its split from doesnt"
Did you guys know that ducks are terrible in tense situations?
They tend to quack under pressure.
Our current situation in a nutshell
Damn that's a sticky situation
Saw a deal earlier to stay on a canal boat but I was worried about covid situation
There's bound to be a lock down there
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
The local police station has had its toilet stolen
Officers have nothing to go on.
An ether/oar situation...
FBI has just announced about a mole on their organization. They are consulting Harry Potter about the situation
since he is good at catching snitches
He made a pun out of an autocorrect situation
Making light of the situation
The man who took my diary died in an accident yesterday..
At this dificult situation, my thoughts are with his family.
A punny take on the coronavirus situation using movies/tv series as puns
What do you call a dog with knowledge or perception of a situation or fact?
Did you hear about the situation in which a black, 17 year old excavator robbed a small convenience store?
It was a minor minority minor miner notoriety.
A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce crashed the other day. The dispatcher asked for the situation
The officer replied: “It’s hard to say”
What do you call someone who has the ability to pull off a lie in every situation?
I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”
He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
My girlfriend said if I don’t marry her then she’ll destroy my hearing
It’s a wife or deaf situation
Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I cannot and will not ever use a plastic knife in any situation
We've got a domestic situation here
A man should always carry a knife. It can cut your food, open beer bottles, be a screwdriver, or even be used as a toothpick. It works great for cleaning your fingernails, and it's quite useful in an emergency situation
like when you have to change someone's mind.
Andy was frustrated.
His wife always complained that he wasn't good enough in bed and that she wasn't satisfied.
He went to the local bar to get a drink and cool off for a bit. On reaching the bar, he ordered a beer and sat down.
His friend, Mike saw him sitting alone and walked up to him.
He asked Andy what happened to which Andy told him the situation. Mike said that he had a simple trick which never failed and told Andy to hit his meat on the bedpost three times before sex.
Andy rushed home to perform this trick.
He saw that his wife was lying on the bed with the lights off. Slowly he took off his pants and hit his meat three times on the bedpost. Dum, dum, dum.
His wife immediately woke up and shouted, "Mike, is that you?"
Don't worry the situation is under control
If we would explain the the current US political situation to the 2010 us at a fantasy fare, they would jokingly call it some batshit magic 'Hocus POTUS'...
Just imagine.... a world without hypothetical situations
Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.
You could say it's my maison d'être.
I don't think he understands the gravity of this situation.
Jesus grew up poor but...
At least he was born in a stable situation.
I failed a recent test on the forces of the earth.
Apparently I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation I was in
My son kept chewing on live electrical wires
Trump's top aides have Coronavirus
It would appear he has a staff infection
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
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