Every where I go I see a group of ravens.
Call me crazy, but I think itβs a conspiracy.
She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."
.. but in Iraq no phobia.
One to cook and one to clean.
In medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
because the post office is Mail dominated...
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
They are always Stalin.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?...because 7-8-9.
They are shocked
Light blue.
It's a thankless heater.
I can do with my eyes closed.
Moral of the story is you canβt have your Kate and Edith too
I instantly thought this could affect Hundreds & Thousands...
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
I canβt find the punchline.
But when I do, he laughs every time.
, said my 2 months old son.
I asked if he'd vote for me if I ran for gour-mayor of our town.
It was, after all, a Capitol offense.
The second was a letdown
The steaks were high.
But sum are
Mangoes to the moon
I chose the 3rd guy as he was the medium.
...it was a big Phα» queue.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
Iβm not very good at small talk.
I remember it like yesterday.
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
I get to the top of the mountain then itβs all down hill from there
Light blue
