John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...

He's living on a pear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....

Grapeful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected

Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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Its extremely rare for a defibrillator not to work.

But when it happens no one’s shocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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This sub's extremely inactive...

There hasn't been any posts this year!

(Reposted at 12:01 AM 1.1.21 after a duel with autocorrect)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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My extremely low effort drawn out pun. What’s it trying to say?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Slayer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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EXTREMELY proud of my 5 year old son for this uninentional one:

Son: Dad...we need a net.

Me: Why?

Son: To catch our flight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mynickname86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennis88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Did you know: in boxing, it’s extremely important to have perfect form when going against a new fighter...

because the fist impression is everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BredSolid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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JFK was an extremely intelligent man

His brain was so big that it covered his entire car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Polar bears are known be extremely moody and sometimes even mate with their own gender.

Thus truly making them bipolar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.

Repeatedly shouting β€œLet that sink in!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciceromilton
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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My wife is extremely upset that I've been drinking brake fluid

She shouldnt be mad, I can stop any time I want

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Extremely unique puns - even the shirt is a pun youtu.be/dSoPYdphtzk
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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I have this pet rodent with extremely large feet.

I call him Ratatouille

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What did the doctor say when everybody left his office extremely slowly?

"I'm losing my patience!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingPinTony
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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When I was young, I was extremely bright.

Because of this, my dad called me "sun."

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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The question was: "How do people with extremely long fake nails properly wipe their butts after pooping? Saw someone struggling to type on their phone today with those bad boys"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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People who spam gas grenades in shooters are extremely toxic.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkkiller1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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In an alternate universe, instead of asking for whatever he touches to be gold, Midas just asked for his jokes to be made extremely hilarious.

Everything was comedy gold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrammerTheGamer
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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When we got married, I was extremely poor, but my wife stood by me during those times.

She had to. We only had one chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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What do you call a snake that's extremely overweight?

A Fat Asp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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All the 70s solo female artists seem extremely vain to me.

They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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My wife was extremely pissed off by my poor sense of direction...

So I packed up my stuff and right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buy_an_sel-l
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Saw an extremely tall guy at the airport

Friend: "Wow, it must be really difficult for him to fly."

Me: "You'd think it'd be easier, he has longer arms."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeventhShin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2015
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A geologist asked me if I like extremely high, steep hills with a flat top. I said yeah

I like big buttes and I cannot lie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.

I told him I’d gourd it with my life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/torchskul
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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There are extremely large bodies of water that have never been touched in any way before.

I guess you could call them the virgin seas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kraigistan_25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I'm extremely interested in researching antibiotics and their effect upon diseases...

I guess you'd say I'm cure-ious.

Thanks ladies and germs! Tip your servers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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My doctor just diagnosed me with extremely low blood pressure.

His prescription for me is to assemble two IKEA wardrobes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Brass and Bronze are extremely friendly...

Cuz they're alloys.... geddit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evamPUNdit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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I attended a child’s birthday party of a rich friend of mine, and it was extremely formal.

For fun, we went Roberting for apples.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
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I am from Britain and visited America last week. I noticed that the ketchup tastes extremely bad,

In heinz-sight I should have brought my own

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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WHAT IS EXTREMELY SPOOKY HALLOWEEN STEW FOR YOU TO EAT

GHOULASH.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postslongcomments
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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I got a new bucket yesterday that I’m extremely happy with.

The last one pails by comparison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Did I tell you guys about the extremely rude cactus I met the other day?

He was a real prick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3rrapins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:

"I stand corrected."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomjim04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad told me this extremely inappropriate joke at a family dinner:

Allegedly, this happened a generation or two back in my family:

After having given birth to her first child, a far out aunt of mine was asked by a younger girl if it didn't hurt to push out a baby. Her husband broke into the conversation saying "No, of course not! If I could get seven pounds into her, then of course she could push seven pounds out!"

And there we sat, the entire family, in total awkward silence...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h4tt3n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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What do you call an extremely rich person who lives in Rio de Janeiro?

A brazilionaire!

The dinner table was quiet for a solid 5 minutes, a personal record for my family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NanoFire_Mead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
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I find most 70s solo female artists extremely vain.

They are a bunch of pre madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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