I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said: "Sure, knock yourself out!"
A pediatric surgeon sewed his kids together as a new form of punishment.
If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
Why did the mathematician go to the Otolaryngologist (ear nose throat doctor/surgeon)?
He was having problems with his sin(x)s
What is an orthopedic surgeon's favorite time?
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon?
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
A surgeon told me a story about how he dropped a tool into a patients stomach once.
John was the best liver surgeon in his hospital.
I guess you could say he always delivered.
My friend didn't trust the surgeon with no limbs
I said "don't worry, he's armless"
I fell in love with my cardiac surgeon
He was pulling at my heart strings
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a peace of mind.
What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?
One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.
I know a surgeon that puts organs back in upsidedown
I told him that's not funny but he said it was an inside joke.
I’ve decided to switch jobs from gardener to breast enlargements surgeon.
It was easy, both are basically implants.
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
I asked my eye surgeon if he has had a hard time finding work.
During my hip-replacement surgery, I asked my surgeon if I could inject the anesthesia myself..
Surgeon: Yeah sure. Knock yourself out.
Heard about the time the surgeons rioted?
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees
I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.
Everyone was super stoked at the surgeon ward party.
I could never become a heart surgeon. Why?
I wouldn’t have the heart to do it
A surgeon had three surgeries assigned to the same day. After the first one he said: "One done, tumor to go"
My butt surgeon was top notch
He came highly rectal-mended
What do African brain surgeons like to do in the summer
They like to go Hippo-CAMP-us
I took my surgeon friend to an ochestra night yesterday - It went from good to great when he excitedly told me his favourite part was coming up...
... I had no idea he was such a big fan of that organ solo..!
What is the surgeon's favorite instrument?
What do you call a surgeon that operates on dinosaur hearts?
A Cardio Jurassic Surgeon
What do you call a surgeon who specializes in pigs?
My bald headed surgeon friend is the most charismatic person I know.
He’s a real smooth operator.
Gender reassignment surgeons should be called trans formers
Every operation a cardiac surgeon performs is heartfelt
Why are Surgeons so annoying?
They always get under people’s skin
What did the ER Nurse say to the belligerent, know-it-all surgeon, who came in with a large laceration?
"Well fine, then. Suture self."
Why did the surgeon dress up a bee to remove a stinger from the patient?
Because that’s how a sting operation works.
That brain surgeon really opened my mind.
A tree surgeon’s girlfriend broke up with him.
He pined fir her fir months.
Knock on wood, they will someday get back together.
(Sorry, this joke wasn’t great... just oak-kay.)
Got my son's surgeon today pretty good.
My infant has a pretty flat head, when I took him to the doctor's office to get a referral for a helmet to shape his head, they asked what his name was.
I told them, "Well, his name is ___, but we like to call him Phillips to encourage him."
I got some truly authentic guffaws, and my dadjoke confidence rose a bit. I feel like I may be getting the hang of this.
What's kind of surgeon receives the most awards?
Dentists. They receive a new kind of plaque almost every day!
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anaesthetic.
He said: “Sure, knock yourself out!”
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anaesthetic.
"Go ahead," he said, "Knock yourself out."
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision?
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Went to a surgeon to have my spine removed...
It was just holding me back.
My bald surgeon friend is the most charismatic guy I know.
He is a real smooth operator.
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