A list of puns related to "Hearing"
My friend asked “What kind is it?” I replied “4:30”
The gal asked me 'how did you hear about us?'
Tenor twelve feet away from earshot.
He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.
His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".
"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.
"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife
The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
....she becomes a Def leopard.
It’s a hard knock life for him
I told them that I care about the environment and thus recycle my jokes.
Neither has he...
What do they want a medal?
I haven't
(Joke from my 14 year old son)
I guess you could say that I’m anti-biotic.
But he just won’t listen.
It’s a wife or deaf situation
Credit for idea: https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/l5550w/my_girlfriend_says_if_we_dont_get_married_soon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
DJ vu
Why would I need a hairy chest?
"Man, that was so meloncholy"
He ended up coming to his senses
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
I submitted mine for repairs three weeks ago and I haven't heard a thing since then.
Because otherwise you need hearing aids
Inmate: It’s bec..
Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think I have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
It would be ear replaceable.
I sent mine away 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard anything since.
YOU WANNA BUY A DUCK?!
https://preview.redd.it/el0b8g5ppsd51.png?width=532&format=png&auto=webp&s=ab5dcea74bed5f718e2302d61dee111ec7fda5ee
Because you groan-up.
I said, “Awesome. What type is it?”
He said, “ Two thirty.”
A super hearo
Neither did he!
Mine was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and going to my gf’s sisters house for dinner with her family. We brought some things to help with dinner. As we’re walking up to the house carrying the cookware, her dad looks back and says, “hey, now that you’re walking the wok, can you talk the talk?”. Not sure why but I’ll never forget that. Still makes me chuckle to this day. What’s yours?
OH, OK
Because she's Rowling on the floor with laughter
And I just KNOW if I were up there I would be physically unable to keep myself from responding "Dragon to Mission Control, I read with my eyes, over." I wonder how many times before they airlock me.
Haven't heard from him since then.
A Def Leppard
But he just won’t listen.
Doc: Could you describe the symptoms?
Me: Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
Neither did he
-Could you describe the symptoms?
-Marge has blue hair and Homer is a fat guy
He asked: “can you describe the symptoms?” I said: “sure, they’re yellow. Marge has blue hair and Homer’s really fat”.
I've heard nothing since.
Inmate: It’s bec..
Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think I have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can I please finish my sentence?!
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"
Neither did he.
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