I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...

Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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I finally got work installing wooden window blinds...

I SHUTTER when I think where I’d be without this job.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jan 19 2020
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Hats off to the the person that invented window blinds

if it wasn't for them, it would've been curtains for us all.

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📅︎ Sep 23 2018
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Dad is ordering blinds for the windows.

He writes a check for the "blind man," pauses, and says "should I write this in brail?"

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/clapperj
📅︎ Apr 08 2015
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The blind guy came to put blinds on my windows yesterday

Me: The blind guy came today
Dad: Was he wearing glasses?
Me: Yeah, how did you know?
Dad: Did he have a cane and a seeing eye dog?
Me: doh!

👍︎ 23
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👤︎ u/81524601
📅︎ Jul 31 2013
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We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, “I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”

I said, “Why would I want two empty glasses?”

👍︎ 12k
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📅︎ Oct 16 2017
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A blind guy walks into a bar...

He looks at the bare windows and says to the bartender, "want to be blinded?"

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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A pail o' puns!

1. What is the most important drink in life?

Vitali-tea.

2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?

A wet blanket with a wet blanket.

3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.

A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.

4. What do you call introverted window blinds?

A shutter-in.

5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?

Dat doe dough 'dough.

6. What do you call a plant's religion?

Agri-culture.

7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?

A Charger's phone charger.

8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?

High noon.

That's all I got.

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Jun 13 2016
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work at a hardware/home improvement store and overheard this

two customers who know each other begin with the usual greeting (hi, how are you?)

Man1: So what are you here for?

Man2: Coming to get some blinds (similar to window curtains)

Man1: Blinds? Why don't you just cover you eyes?

Man1 then proceeds to cover his eyes whilst having a very hearty chuckle.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Jun 10 2014
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