Guys help I have so many door puns in my head
How do you tell the difference between a male door and a female door?
One has a ding-dong and the other has knockers.
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
"Honey, who might bee at the front door?"
Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4, they'd be called chicken sedans.
The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.
My wife and I were woken up at 3am by loud banging on our door. I got up, opened the door and there was a drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain, asking for a push. "Are you insane man?!!? It's 3 in the morning!!" I screamed, slamming the door and stormed back to bed...
"Who was that?" asked my wife.
"Just some drunk asking for a push." I grumbled.
"Did you help him?" she asked.
"No, I did NOT! It's 3am and it's pouring rain!"
"Well, you've a short memory." she said. "Don't you remember three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? You should be ashamed of yourself! Now get out there and help him!"
She had a point, and angrily, I got dressed and went out into the darkness, calling out, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes."
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes please."
"Where are you?"
"Over here...on the swing."
You should always knock on the fridge door before opening it
Just in case there's a salad dressing
Good thing there are just the two doors to the US Capitol building
Cause attempted sedan doesn’t have the same ring to it
A salesperson came to my door yesterday trying to sell me a coffin.
I told him, "That's the last thing I need".
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
Why did the clown hold the door open?
Because it's a nice jester
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow
Everytime I buy a new house, I always spend $1,000 on the door.
That way, I always make a grand entrance.
Hippie gets 3 months late on rent...So the landlord knocks on his door to let him know he’s being evicted
He opens the door and tells him “Namaste”.
I just had a new wash basin delivered to our house for our guest bathroom, but my wife decided that she hates the design so much she won't even let me bring it in off the porch. It has been sitting by our front door for a week, A ENTIRE WEEK.
There was a knock at the door this morning. I opened it and there was a wash basin on the doorstep.
I thought, "I'd better let this sink in."
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
“Christopher Wreath” is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
Why did the living door fall over?
He was knocked unconscious!
My neighbour banged on my door at 3am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella..
Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time..
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to build a community swimming pool.
So, I handed him a glass of water.
People weren't happy with me for leaving the front door at work open overnight.
I walked into a chilly reception.
grandpa told me: "if a door closes somewhere, another opens
he was a really bad cabinet maker...
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes topless in the garden.
Personally,I’m on the fence.
Just came home to find all my doors and windows open, everything's gone!
Who would do that to another person's Advent Calendar?!
My last relationship ended because I didn't open the car door for her...
Instead I swam up to the surface.
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.
My daughter says it will be very soothing.
My grandfather always said that when one door closes, another one opens.
He was a terrible cabinetmaker.
My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."
I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there’s a salad dressing
I always knock on the fridge before I open the door...
Just in case there is a salad dressing.
I'll see myself out....
Why do chicken coops only have two doors?
If they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan
Hold the door open for a clown
A clown held the door open for me
When is a door, not a door?
Why do chicken coops have two doors?
Because if they had four doors they'd be chicken sedans!
Yesterday a clown held a Door open for me
I thought it was a nice jester
What should you do if there's a sink at your door?
A clown held the door open for me today
I thought that it was a nice jester
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
I held the door open for a clown
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there's a salad dressing
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