Did you hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up the hammer and saw.

(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What do you call a blind Nazi?

A not-see

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrome_sus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Why did the blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMcRican
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cornelius____
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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My doctor just told me that i was color blind

that came completely out of the orange

πŸ‘︎ 176
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Why can't blind people eat fish?

It's Seafood

πŸ‘︎ 579
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoboMaster2K
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Blind prostitutes....

you really gotta hand it to them

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I went on a blind date with a vegan girl.

Never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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i see, said the blind man

looking through a knothole in a barbed wire fence

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiktokadvocate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Have you heard about the blind prostitute ?

Well, you gotta hand it to her.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I saw it all said the blind man,

To his deaf wife.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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A blind man walked into a bar

then a table, and a chair

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Hey, did you hear about the 2 blind Cyclopos?

Neither have eye.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Why can't blind people eat ocean fish?

Because it's see-food!

my 11 year old daughter ran in here while cooking greens and dropped that knowledge on us. I couldn't be more proud lol.

edit: just wanted to let those of you who have is awards that I appreciate it! I told my daughter about them and she asked if she can keep telling jokes for me to put on here lol. should get fairly interesting.

thanks all. I hope you had a great turkey gobble day

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberrich
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Have you seen who's playing the lead in the new Blind Batman film?

It's Christian Braille.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiddlyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Why can't the blind man see his friends?

He's married.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benevolentdespots
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Had to take my blind roommate to the hospital today.

Last time I leave the plunger in the toilet .

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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What do you call a serial killer who's deaf and blind?

Helen Killer

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandee13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Blind god
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glowstick2019
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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In my free time, I like to help blind people.

Verb, not adjective.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Who doesn’t know about blind people?

I’m sure deaf people never heard of them..

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Have you seen the car crash at the national association for blind people?

Witnesses claim they didn't see it coming

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5wiipr29
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind dinosaur?

A do-you-think-he-saurus.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knowbody-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I saw a blind man eating seafood today

It didn't help

πŸ‘︎ 205
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phileo56
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I was going to cover the windows of our new house with curtains, but my wife came in and tossed vertical blinds at me...

Dunno why the she had to throw shade on my pursuit...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What would Hitler be called if he was Blind.

A Not See

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Qui-DenSchmidt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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My 2 blind friends are always bickering with each other

They just don't see eye to eye

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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What does a blind woman say when she gets to the top of the Space Needle?

Nothing, cause she can't Seattle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog?

Doyathinkesaurus Rex.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What does a blind person say when you give them sand paper?

"That's a small font."

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/biker_philosopher
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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I asked a blind girl out in braille today...

...she left me on felt

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaySalami
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Love is blind

Sex is Braille.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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As a blind comedian, I have been trying to understand my audience.

Ah, who am I kidding?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the half-blind man fall into a well?

He couldn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_ivory_fox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the partially blind man fall into a well?

Because he could not see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you spot a blind man at a nude beach?

It ain't hard

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patdaddy007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
So a blind man walks into a bar.

Then a table, Then a chair..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaDelta9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatcattleco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn't see that well!

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMcRican
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up a hammer and saw

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the legally blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn’t see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't the blind man see his friends?

Because he's married.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't blind people eat fish

Because it's seafood

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CRANKY_MUPPET
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmphreyMcCheese
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall down the well?

... because he could not see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kaerlok
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How the blind man fall into the well?

He couldn’t see.....that well

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastrwill
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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