10 Stupid Puns
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My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time.
I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly."
We are not friends anymore.
(True Story)
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
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Looks tasty.
Gimme a pizza that.
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Why do eggs hate jokes?
The answers always crack them up!
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What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator?
"Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"
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Somebody stole all my lamps….
And I couldn't be more de-lighted!
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I once met a pig that did karate…
We called him Pork Chop!
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Coffee has a rough time in our house.
It gets mugged every single morning!
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My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve!
(Source For All Puns Except The First)
https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/
During my time as a PhD student I used to draw stupid puns on the whiteboard. This is one of my favourites.
My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun... frayed knot.
Story of love at first stupid pun.
A man sees a woman in a grocery story and tries to make a joke through observational humor and she gets him good:
Man: Why are people so fanatical about buying all natural foods?
Woman: Maybe they're afraid of dying
Source
What do you call a stupid seagull
I'll never vaccinate my kids, that's stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous.
I'd get the doctor to do it.
People who celebrate Valentine’s Day are stupid
People who celebrate post Valentine’s Day are smart because you get more bang for your buck.
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
I feel kinda stupid and kinda proud for coming up with this (drawing on a phone is hard)
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him
everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Long, stupid Dad joke
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
What’s ugly, stupid and delicious
I get drunk and make stupid memes
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said “you can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:
“I didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”
When a girl makes stupid decisions when she's turned on, can it be called clitical thinking?🤔
Someone thought I was stupid and tried to explain what a sawhorse is
But I shut him down immediately because I'm well aware that it's the past tense of seahorse
Thanks
Since it started raining my wife just stares sadly through the stupid window …
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
GOOse. Yea i know its stupid.
My son got mad after I called his weed stupid
I said "Jeez cant you take a toke ?"
Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.
Sorry. I just gotta vent.
My wife said that everything on this subreddit was stupid, unfunny puns...
But I made this post yesterday that says otherwise.
Obligatory Edit: I have so many people to thank for gold, but I think this says it all.
I got these for Christmas. None are very GOUDA, but they’re so stupid I still laugh
What do you call a stupid donkey?
My dad is so stupid,
He thought an arms dealer sold prosthetic limbs...
My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
This one is the stupid one.
Either I'm too tired or I'm just stupid, but can someone explain this pun to me because I don't get it.
My wife thought I wouldn’t be stupid enough to give our daughter a silly name.
But I decided to call her Bluff.
Did you know that 97% of the world is stupid?
Luckily I'm in the other 5%.
What do you call a stupid fish?
My kid said "I left my backpack in the STUPID car!
I replied "don't call the car stupid! It passed it's emissions test!!!"
Did you hear about the zoo with only one stupid dog?
Yeah...its a pretty shih tzu
My wife said that this subreddit is nothing but of stupid, unfunny puns...
But this post says otherwise.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?
I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
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