Me: "What was that really bad joke you told me in the car?" Dad: "It couldn't have been me" Me: "It was definitely you, Dad" Dad: "Nope. I know it wasn't me because I don't tell bad jokes"
Goddammit Dad
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas
A ghost boomerang
Donut ask me....
But he does think an asset is a little donkey.
Fortunately I belong to 1% of smart people
Like bro you were there!
But that'd just be random
Someone told them the drinks were on the house
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
I wrote my name in wet cement, but I was stupid and I wrote my first and my last name, now they've got my name, they've got my fingerprints its pretty concrete evidence...
A mooook.
Cents
You're supposed to run until you can't anymore or something like that...? I was thinking of trying one out but honestly I don't know how good I'd do I'm an awful runner...
My friend Tyrell tried one last year and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done...
I still can't believe Tyrannosaurus
Dad jokes.
He picked up a wheel and spoke
Nobody could have predicted what was to come. Know one had 2020 vision
Closets aren't even a race!
βWhat is it?β
βJust guess.β
βI donβt know.β
βA joke.β
He was an oxymoron.
Too blondes walk into a bar...
power = work / time
but...
knowledge = power
and
time = money
so, substituting...
knowledge = work / money
solving for money...
money = work / knowledge
The less you know, the more money you make, regardless of how much work you do.
An airhead
Iβve seen him twice this past week personally
Theyβre from.... GREECE( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
Comic sands
She ticks all the boxes
- me
