I take pride in my stupid puns
10 Stupid Puns
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My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time.
I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly."
We are not friends anymore.
(True Story)
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!
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Looks tasty.
Gimme a pizza that.
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Why do eggs hate jokes?
The answers always crack them up!
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What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator?
"Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"
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Somebody stole all my lamps….
And I couldn't be more de-lighted!
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I once met a pig that did karate…
We called him Pork Chop!
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Coffee has a rough time in our house.
It gets mugged every single morning!
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My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is starting to improve!
(Source For All Puns Except The First)
https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/
During my time as a PhD student I used to draw stupid puns on the whiteboard. This is one of my favourites.
My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun... frayed knot.
Thought of a stupid pun at work, so I drew it [OC]
Story of love at first stupid pun.
A man sees a woman in a grocery story and tries to make a joke through observational humor and she gets him good:
Man: Why are people so fanatical about buying all natural foods?
Woman: Maybe they're afraid of dying
Source
My friend broke his leg, so I wrote, "You're stupid " on his cast.
I was adding insult to injury
My girlfriend said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.
So I bought her a candle.
The puns I make are stupid.
I went to an amusement park yesterday based on the Underworld. I had a hell of a time.
What do you call a stupid cow?
You know people use a bag of rocks as a metaphor for being stupid....
But it took one stone to figure out the theory of relativity.
How do you identify something that's stupid?
What do you call a stupid person who can’t understand punchlines?
Stupid computer!
I dropped my computer on my foot and now...
it megahertz. :D
What do you call it when too many people become stupid all at once?
I told my kids that "fortnight" was a stupid name for a video game.
My wife said, “Why don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
What do you call a stupid seagull
I'll never vaccinate my kids, that's stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous.
I'd get the doctor to do it.
I feel kinda stupid and kinda proud for coming up with this (drawing on a phone is hard)
People who celebrate Valentine’s Day are stupid
People who celebrate post Valentine’s Day are smart because you get more bang for your buck.
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him
everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Long, stupid Dad joke
The ancient Greeks greatly feared volcanic explosions from Mt. Olympus, so they developed a tradition of sacrificing young maidens to the Gods on the mountain. Every year they selected five girls, and sacrificed four. Then they assigned the other one to stomp the olive harvest. That’s where we get Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
What’s ugly, stupid and delicious
I get drunk and make stupid memes
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said “you can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:
“I didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”
Someone thought I was stupid and tried to explain what a sawhorse is
But I shut him down immediately because I'm well aware that it's the past tense of seahorse
Thanks
When a girl makes stupid decisions when she's turned on, can it be called clitical thinking?🤔
Since it started raining my wife just stares sadly through the stupid window …
If it gets any worse, I guess I’ll have to let her in.
My wife said that everything on this subreddit was stupid, unfunny puns...
But I made this post yesterday that says otherwise.
Obligatory Edit: I have so many people to thank for gold, but I think this says it all.
GOOse. Yea i know its stupid.
I got these for Christmas. None are very GOUDA, but they’re so stupid I still laugh
My mate broke his leg, so I wrote "You are stupid" on his cast.
I was just adding insult to injury.
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