Veg Puns

To prevent any escape peas.

If you don't avocado

It was completely fruitless.

People who sell veg are grocer.

But apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

I replied: people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

(Borrowed indefinitely without permission from @pakalupapito)

I don't like meet

Knock knock jokes:

http://i.imgur.com/FbhaoJR.png

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Regular jokes:

http://i.imgur.com/FSpBRve.png

http://i.imgur.com/BimhVEg.png

http://i.imgur.com/hmT1VXU.png

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http://i.imgur.com/IGErA97.png

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http://i.imgur.com/zG5hetR.png

http://i.imgur.com/Ff1x8Zm.png

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http://i.imgur.com/VPnE7bJ.png

We're sitting in Ecology and the professor says, "Okay we're going to move on to plants now."

Classmate turns to me, "You hate botany?"

Me: Yeah

Him: Me too. Guess we should veg out.

Me and my girlfriend were talking about getting 5 fruit and veg a day over Skype when she spotted me chewing on my headphones.

She said, 'Stop chewing your head phones, they're not part of your five a day. (Pause) even though they're Apple!'