A Vegetarian Claimed to be my Girlfriend

Which is strange because I'd never seen herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tryze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
What do poor vegetarians eat?

Broke-olli

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnomonster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?

Herb T.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother?

His name was Broco.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25
🚨︎ report
How does a vegetarian priest start their sermons?

Lettuce pray

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CjMcDonald85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
My sons a vegetarian

My wife and son are vegetarians, but I eat meat. One day, my son try’s to eat some of the chicken off my plate and my wife says β€œNo sons name That’s a dead bird. We don’t eat dead birds”.

I reply β€œshe’s right Son, it’s a murder most fowl”.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgould408
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the mass murderer who only hunted vegetarians?

He was a Serial Kaler

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bruce_Wang007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie vegetarian eat

GRRRAAAIINS!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Do you know what Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother is called?

Brocco Lee

I'll see myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I made up a song about my vegetarian dinner last night

It was a salad ballad

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeTuckerCase
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
I cooked for a friend at my BBQ, and forgot he was a vegetarian.

I made a mistake. I made him a steak.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
If two vegetarians had a fight..

Would it be called a beef?

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j2ui
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Where do vegetarians eat?

On the vegeTABLE

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Waitingforlunch
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegetarian viking?

Norvegan

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Randdom_user
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What’s a vegetarian spider’s favorite meal?

Corn on the cobweb

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
What's the name of Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother

Parsley

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaveTide
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?

A salad shooter....

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CraftyRow418
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
If a vegetarian eats vegetables...

What does a humanitarian eat?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call the life of a vegetarian?

A whole lotta missed-steaks

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
A vegetarian girl walked up to me and claimed we met before ...

I'm sure I never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Vegetarians are like parallel lines...

They never meat.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Vegetarian Viking

Does this belong here? Found in Youtube comments.

https://preview.redd.it/i31aosvjqlf41.png?width=377&format=png&auto=webp&s=1ea62e03ae60f061e3968e1f815fefe301e881bd

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JustANormieGeek
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I ran into a girl at a vegetarian restaurant that said she new me

But I've never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramzee24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
A recent poll has shown that vampires are actually vegetarian.

They all hate stakes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
What do you call vegetarian butter chicken?

Everything but-a chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

GRAINS

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplemilo1030
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Vegetarians always get along

They never have beef with each other!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Vegetarian beef
πŸ‘︎ 103
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/damndomino
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother is called? /r/dadjokes/comments/egc2…
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarPrince
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?

I feel good from my head tomatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PurplePyrate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The world's first certified vegetarian

Brock O. Lee

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
Today I learned vegetarians can't eat pudding.

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian resturaunt.

I was a bit confused, I'd never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BucketHatManReni
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Being a vegetarian is a

big missed steak.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-sapnu-aw-puas-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
This female stranger from the vegetarian restaurant came up to me

I had never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SmilioTM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what Wyatt Earp's vegetarian brother is called?

Turn Earp.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/euclid0472
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I was in a conversation with two other people. One asked do vegetarians like Cod. The other said that’s pescatarian and not vegetarian. Then they asked what I thought.

So I said no that’s gamers

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tosser53
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you kill a vegetarian vampire

With a steak to the heart

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hubbadah_Man
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie vegetarian eat? β€œGRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies say?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
a vegetarian killed his wife.

at the murder scene, the police found a note that said "please help me, my life is at steak."

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Daddy_J_420
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian Brother...

Broco Lee

πŸ‘︎ 682
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JammyDodger26
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Vegetarians claim to want nothing to do with meat but every day they walk around on two calves.
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snowdaruma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman came up to me and said she had met me before at the vegetarian gathering

I had never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gutsey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Want to meet vegetarian strangers online?

Try NeverMetHerbivore.com

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hispanime
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Daughter, never marry a vegetarian

he won’t bring home the bacon.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/citizenvane
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian

It's like i've never seen herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zucc_the_lizard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian restaurant.

I was a bit confused, because I've never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EveryNameIsStolen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

GRRRAAAAAIIINNNS!!!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeeCF
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m not very good at cooking for vegetarians
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AmethystMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to give up my vegetarian diet

Turns they’re a lot harder to catch than cows

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DropDeadMaxxi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
This lady just walked up to me, asked if I remembered meeting her and oddly she commented on being a vegetarian.

I'm sure I never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BALTIM0RE
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
So a girl came up tom he other day and said that she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. Honestly I was a bit confused.

I’d never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AquariusV1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl recently told me she recognized me from the local vegetarian club..

I swear I’ve never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mike-ekim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are vampires vegetarians?

They are afraid of stakes

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geaux_Phish
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.

His name is Brocko Lee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C0untdown
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know about the new rock band "The Vegetarians"?

They're like nothing I've ever herbivore!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I decided to go vegetarian

When my girlfriend asked what I was doing with the deli meat I said "I'm going cold turkey"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBluPill
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club.

However I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndreT_NY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2016
🚨︎ report
If two vegetarians are fighting is it still called having beef?
πŸ‘︎ 307
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/me_he_te
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s vegetarian BBQ party like?

They just smoke weed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to do the right thing for the animals by becoming a vegetarian

But honestly, it was a big missed-steak.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nick12ws
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently, Jude Law has a vegetarian son.

Coles Law

πŸ‘︎ 538
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
🚨︎ report
My vegetarian daughter said that butchers are gross...

But I told her that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 386
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dulberf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you want to meet a new vegetarian girl?

Just go to www.inevermetherbivore.com

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyberlord50
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is wooden flooring considered not suitable for vegetarians?

Because there’s laminate of course.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hopsinjoor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Vegetarian
πŸ‘︎ 468
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Realniceandtight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
There was a new gal at the vegetarian singles club last night

I'd never seen herbefore

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteCubeNinja
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother..

Broco Lee.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InjuredTanned
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in the vegetable section at the grocery store, a girl came up to me and asked if she saw me at the vegetarian club..

..but I don't think I've ever seen herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shoopdebop
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother the other day - Broco Lee
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/samstermufc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club.

I was a bit confused, seeing how I'd never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.

They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend just decided to go and be a vegetarian

It's like I never knew herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m_aurelius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
🚨︎ report
A woman once said she recognised me from the vegetarian club

That's weird because I've never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Neightan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Finally figured why non-vegetarians don’t eat veggie pizza

It just doesn’t meat their expectations

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunteu314casso
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

GRRRAAAIINS!

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/always-paranoid
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

Grrrrrainnnnnssss.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do vegetarian zombies eat?

GRAINS!!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qualum05
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl came up to me and said she recognized me from a vegetarian restaurant.

I was a bit confused

I had never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D1v1nE_reign
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?

I feel good. From my head, tomatoes.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeW2017
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a vegetarian zombie eat?

GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adoon01
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but...

I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Syeq
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
🚨︎ report

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