My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
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︎ May 06 2021
o m g
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︎ May 14 2021
I was taught by my driving instructor to hold the steering wheel at 10 & 2 o clock
At other times i would just crash.
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︎ May 14 2021
Pint o Beans
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︎ Mar 24 2021
first time posting here. (not a dad, just a 17 y/o kid)
Every time this queer couple lied to their son, he would see right through them.
>they were trans-parent.
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︎ Apr 02 2021
What did O say to Q?
Wear some underwear and stop flashing you pervert!
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︎ Apr 19 2021
What starts with an βOβ and ends with βnionsβ and sometimes make you cry?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
What do you call when you lit an 'O' on fire?
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︎ Apr 13 2021
Out-dadded by my 5 y/o niece
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed.
My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count."
Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
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︎ Oct 05 2020
What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Why did Gilbert O'Sullivan go to the bank
A loan again, naturally.
My dad just came out with this on the sofa, not sure if he read it elsewhere but all the same he's very chuffed with himself.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
8 y/o, "Dad, what does the space needle sew?"
Me, "I dunno, what?"
Her, "The fabric of space time!"
She told me that while we were watching the new years show at the space needle lol.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why does the rest of the Alphabet find A,E,I,O, and U so annoying?
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π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Twitter meme s t o l e n from facebook
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Why are frozen veg always in sealed packs?
To prevent any escape peas.
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︎ Apr 20 2020
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︎ Jan 30 2021
What does Shaquille OβNeal eat for breakfast?
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︎ Jan 29 2021
A play by Shaquille OβNeal helped physicists discover a new phenomenon
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Why did AB hate O so much?
Because O was to negative.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Is it o.k. to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school...
....or, am I a really bad teacher ?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I believe I have made a hum(o)rous (c)omedic joke.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
From my 13 y/o son
Heβs trying to cut a panini sandwich and said βThis knife is not gonna cut it.β
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
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︎ Oct 26 2020
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z
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︎ Dec 25 2020
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?
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︎ Oct 12 2020
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
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π
︎ Jan 02 2021
Cardi O
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Gonna milk this one for all its worth
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︎ Jan 18 2021
I swear stairs are gonna be my d o w n fall, the way they keep s t a i r i n g at me...
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π
︎ Feb 06 2020
Why did the Italian chef get locked out of his restaurant?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
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︎ Sep 18 2018
A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, & Z are all racists.. How do I know?
Because they're all not 'C's.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who is a personal trainer?
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︎ Feb 18 2021
What's Irish and sits out on the sidewalk
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︎ Feb 28 2021
The O.Henry Pun-Off is back βON!β - Tongues of puns linger
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museumβs famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings theyβve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words youβve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
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︎ Nov 15 2020
Here's a 50 y/o pun on a magnet
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︎ Aug 29 2020
This is not oc content it MAY be a re p o st
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Loosing weight is a peice of cake!
Just donβt pick it up
Edit: piece I before E except after c
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A New Motorcycle
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Recent father. Yesterday my wife told me we βwould be having dinner at around 6:30, 7 oβclockβ
I told her I might be running late and asked if we could make it 6:38 instead?
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︎ Oct 23 2020
My imterviewer asked me why I put A, C, D, E, I, M, N, O, R, and T on my application.
I told him they were the letters of recommendation.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
What starts with 'O' and ends with 'nions' and sometimes make you cry?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter
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︎ Oct 27 2020
A little Christmas song. A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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