A piece of rope walks into a bar

Bartender: We don’t serve your kind here Rope: walks out and ties himself up and spikes it’s hair Bartender: Aren’t you the guy I just told to get out? Rope: I’m a frayed knot...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad told me an old one he once said to a friend

The two were ice fishing, and the wind had blown away some patches that became really slippery, and the two of them weren't wearing any boot spikes. Dad slips and falls right on his chin, seeing stars and nearly passed out. tries to get up but can't, just lays face down on the ice for a bit to get his bearings.

Friend: Hey Bill you alright?

Dad: Yeah I'm fine, I got ice on it.

apparently the friend laughed so hard he slipped and fell on the ice as well

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iceman19-2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2013
🚨︎ report
Shopping at the home improvement store

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubikscanopener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.