I saw 2 cows staring at me from behind the bush.
I think it was a steak out.
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River
I told him thats bat shit in Seine
Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?
He got caught picking his nose!
Saw this earlier today lmao
What did the baby say when he saw his food in front of him?
Purée!!!
(I literally just came up with this and am a new dad. Please be gentle)
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
What did the Farmer say when he saw a painting of his pet Llama?
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 acting like an idiot?
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
I saw one of my neighbors throwing their trash into another neighbor's trashcan
I told him to stop trash passing.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.
I think I picked up a nervous tic.
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
Saw some cows on the roof playing poker...
I saw the Apple store get robbed once
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.
Either way, the silver bullets worked.
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
Saw this on Instagram lol
Saw an old man jumping around and waving his arms to get his neighbor’s attention.
He must’ve been at deaf’s door.
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....
It said bear left, so we went home.
I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.
Must've been Mount Heiferest.
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
My wife told me she saw two EMTs walking over by the hospital. “Two EMTs?” I asked her...
...don’t you mean “pair o’ medics”?
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."
I thought, "I can't turn that down."
I just saw two birds flying side by side into the courthouse.
I think they’re called “paraleagles.”
I’ll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.
The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, he’s lucky there was a pane of glass between us.
I saw an interview with an out of work contortionist the other day
He’s struggling to make ends meet
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
I saw it all said the blind man,
Saw this on FB and had to share
A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.
Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.
When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: “My wife missed the bus!!!”
I saw a Bentley with a 2DAMOON sticker on it today
They must’ve invested in GameStop
Dad: I saw a woman with 12 breasts
Me: That sounds strange...
Dad: Dozen tit
YOU’RE WELCOME 💋
I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died
...and then I heard it a few seconds later
I saw a great movie about databases.
I can’t wait for the SQL.
I saw my nephew browsing some weird porn
What's the world coming to?
Why are you cuddling that saw?
For emotional support.
It's my coping saw.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?
Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.
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