Saw this one from 9gag.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ehnoscentteaya
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw 2 cows staring at me from behind the bush.

I think it was a steak out.

πŸ‘︎ 287
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elwheelio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Why was the snowman embarrassed when people saw him buying a bag of carrots?

He got caught picking his nose!

πŸ‘︎ 393
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw this earlier today lmao
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGonarch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the baby say when he saw his food in front of him?

PurΓ©e!!!

(I literally just came up with this and am a new dad. Please be gentle)

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronGaben
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, β€œI don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

I told him, β€œI don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

πŸ‘︎ 196
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFoxMaster00
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Farmer say when he saw a painting of his pet Llama?

" It's a spitting image"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RigidStifflini
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: β€œHow do you know it was going to school?”

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Chain-Saw
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.

I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw one of my neighbors throwing their trash into another neighbor's trashcan

I told him to stop trash passing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmackz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?

Hot Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.

I think I picked up a nervous tic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Guess who I saw today...

Everyone I looked at.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0cora86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I saw a Russian train

It wasn’t Stalin

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamie-brittain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Saw some cows on the roof playing poker...

It was high steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EverythingAndNot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I saw the Apple store get robbed once

Yep, I was an iWitness

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."

πŸ‘︎ 585
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.

Either way, the silver bullets worked.

πŸ‘︎ 170
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Was driving by the prison the other night when I saw a midget climbing down from a window.

I said to myself, that’s a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awag80
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw this on Instagram lol
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExoticCow64
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw an old man jumping around and waving his arms to get his neighbor’s attention.

He must’ve been at deaf’s door.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toboggabug
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....

It said bear left, so we went home.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomesox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
I saw a mountain with a lot of cows hanging out on it.

Must've been Mount Heiferest.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car

Looks like it was a Christler

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me she saw two EMTs walking over by the hospital. β€œTwo EMTs?” I asked her...

...don’t you mean β€œpair o’ medics”?

πŸ‘︎ 766
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume knob stuck on full."

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AffectionateNot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw two birds flying side by side into the courthouse.

I think they’re called β€œparaleagles.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwqewve
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I’ll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.

The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, he’s lucky there was a pane of glass between us.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yellgames01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
I saw an interview with an out of work contortionist the other day

He’s struggling to make ends meet

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frosty_boblem
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.

Guess they needed an emergency service.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksteel_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I saw it all said the blind man,

To his deaf wife.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mastiff_Speed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Saw this on FB and had to share

A bus full of housewifes going on a picnic, suddenly fell into a river... they all tragically died.

Each husband cried for a week straight, but one husband continued for more than two weeks.

When asked why he missed his wife so much, he replied miserably: β€œMy wife missed the bus!!!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ir9199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
I saw a Bentley with a 2DAMOON sticker on it today

They must’ve invested in GameStop

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyPenJustBroke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Dad: I saw a woman with 12 breasts

Me: That sounds strange...

Dad: Dozen tit

YOU’RE WELCOME πŸ’‹

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw that Chuck Yeager has died

...and then I heard it a few seconds later

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a great movie about databases.

I can’t wait for the SQL.

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw my nephew browsing some weird porn

What's the world coming to?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Why are you cuddling that saw?

For emotional support.

It's my coping saw.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cat_named_virtue
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yovinio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.

Me: β€œHow do you know it was going to school?”

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t mind him. He is just a product of our times.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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