He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

“thank you for your cervix.”

I said that’s impossible, Labor Day is in September!

(New dad of a 3 week old, trying to step into my new role)

In fact, all the trouble started because it was ajar.

Outlaws are wanted

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma’s a pause at the end of a clause.

"It’s pasture bedtime!”

And he responded “oh so there’s reddiquette to it then”

(Also he’s on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)

Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.

Nothing and orange have completely different ending sounds.

If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

She doesn’t know it yet, but her thyme’s cumin

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

It’s got it’s ups and downs

a-mean-o acids.

Chemotherapy

K9P

Towels

A can’tible

An Undietaker.

Fiat Earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?

Tequila Mockingbird

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

I said “thanks for having me.”

And he said “food usually”.

Sitting at the Doc of the Bae, wasting time.

The principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."

"Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked.

The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

I’ve never jelly’d my finger in a door before

ouch mitosis

Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"

That ship has sailed

Gill Gates, the flounder of Mackerelsoft!

Nerd Immunity

But I’m nervous because I’ve never ran that far before.

But then I saw her face.

it has a bit of veneer missing.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.