What do you get when you eat too much peanut butter?

Reese’s feces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElricGreywolf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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My four-year-old son just asked me for a peanut butter and farts sandwich...

AKA "a peanut butter and smelly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kamasushi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?

Nevermind, I’d rather not spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatHappyGamer96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What do you call a man who was force fed chocolate and peanut butter then chopped up?

Reese’s Pieces

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firepower98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?

DON'T BE JELLY!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day.

I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Mashed up dates, chocolate chips, peanut butter, granola, almonds....delicious homemade granola bars
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t.

Because you might spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonheatz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Ah finally. I have the almighty peanut butter.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-TrueNugget
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What do you get when you cross Jelly, peanut butter, and bread?

This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich

a) A sandwich! What did you think you’d get? b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tokooMaster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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What’s got peanut butter, and flies laughing hysterically over the beach?

A sand witch

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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My wife just yelled at the kids β€œwho got into the peanut butter

Me: probably a bunch of nuts

I was the only one who laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danceswithwool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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There's a rumour going around about peanut butter.

I don't want to spread it though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dexley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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What do you get when you eat a peanut butter & baked bean sandwich?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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My friend peanut butter called me today said he had great news about his job

Apparently he is on celery now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConvictedOrigins
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I'm starting a new line of nut-free peanut butter.

It's called "I can't believe it's nut butter"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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A jar of peanut butter needed an oil change

It went to JIFfy Lube

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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What is the easiest way to fit an entire peanut butter sandwich into your mouth? /r/Jokes/comments/fgwyl3/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchy72
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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What fish tastes best with peanut butter...

Jellyfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.

After all, this is MONSTER JAM!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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There’s a rumor going around about peanut butter.

But I’m not gonna spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sk1wbw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Today is national peanut butter day.

Spread the news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ziptyze
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Disappointing peanut butter...
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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I saw a man using peanut butter as shaving cream to shave his testicals

I said, β€œWhat are you doing man, that’s just nuts!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyl-dog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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I brought peanut butter the the jam session

They were all jelly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realfleshperson
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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I'm going to start a photo essay entitled "Images Of A Jar Of Peanut Butter In Unusual Locations"

I'll even submit it to National Geographic, they'll give me a full-page spread.

bonus peanut butter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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I hope whoever thought of this name for this peanut butter got a raise.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christianabiera
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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Did you hear that GM has developed a car that runs on peanut butter?

They have a few kinks to work out.

It keeps sticking to the roof of the garage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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If you ever stick your dick inside a peanut butter jar...

You're fucking nuts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I really want to tell you this joke about peanut butter...

...but I'm afraid you might spread it.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who was caught with his dick in a jar of peanut butter?

He was fuckin' nuts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...

The peanut butter said, "Do you want to stick together?" The jelly replied, "You're nuts!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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β€œDaddy, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” a four-year-old tells his father.

His father responds, β€œOk, you’re a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/migel210
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
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I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Achillez34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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I wish I liked organic peanut butter but I can't get past the separation anxiety
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incidesi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Did you hear the rumor about peanut butter?

I don’t want to spread it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhereFudgeIsMade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Why did someone smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Why did the girl put peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam.

(credit to keiffer)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hedgiehogs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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What kind of fish goes with peanut butter?

A jellyfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeyD_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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What fish goes good with peanut butter?

Jellyfish!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Timeatsbrains
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Why did Sally put peanut butter on the sidewalk?

To go with the traffic jam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirge77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2017
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