You know why they call it jelly instead of jam?
Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.
What happens if you put capsaicin in jelly
What is a printer's favorite type of jelly?
Jelly's fine, but paper jam is the best!
What do you get when you cross Jelly, peanut butter, and bread?
This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich
a) A sandwich! What did you think you’d get?
b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!
What is Alanis Morissette's favorite jelly?
A traffic jam...when she's already late.
What is a Killer Queen’s favourite jelly?
What’s the worst kind of jelly to put in your PB&J?
A jelly tanker overturned
It made a lot of traffic jam
What do you get if you cross jelly with a helicopter?
A jellycopter.
A joke my daughter told me when she was about 6.
Why was the mint jelly nervous?
Because it was always on the lamb
My uncle has started a successful jelly factory.
What do you call a male renaissance artist with a bowl of jelly?
I used to think the stuff in your nose was called "nose jelly"
If you were in a pool full of jelly, and you threw in some fruit...
You'd really be in a jam.
My daughter got jelly on her nightgown
I said, "no big deal, you'll just have sweet dreams."
Why did the man smear jelly on the open door?
I wish you could make jelly out of music...
Don’t be jelly of sofishticated efishiency.
I hate when you randomly find jelly and jam.
I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...
The peanut butter said, "Do you want to stick together?"
The jelly replied, "You're nuts!"
As he wiped the jelly from one eye and the cake from the other he realised I was not someone to be trifled with.
I went to a friends house party and stumbled onto a cabinet full of jelly....
I guess you could say the party was jam-packed.
“Daddy, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,” a four-year-old tells his father.
His father responds, “Ok, you’re a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
I think it would be awesome to own a store where I sold home made jellies, jams, and preserves.
Someone would ask me for a recommendation. Then I'd grab a jar from a shelf and say "This one right here is my jam."
I had a picture of welch's grape jelly as my phone lock screen for a solid month before the wife asked me about it.
I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
Did you hear the one about the couple who confused window cement with KY-Jelly?
Trouble opening a jar of jelly...
So my 11 year old daughter was having trouble opening a jar of grape jelly and asked for my help. I took it and got it open after a bit of a struggle, and said...."Wow, that lid was really JAMMED on there." I got a world class eye roll out of her.
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
You can't jelly out to your favorite tunes.
Alternative: It's impossible to be jam of how good I look.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly out to Pink Floyd!
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