What did the jelly say to the other jelly?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
You know why they call it jelly instead of jam?
Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.
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︎ Sep 29 2020
Making my morning rounds in hospital when I ask a patient how his breakfast was. "The eggs and sausage were fine, but the Kentucky Jelly was awful," he replied. "What 'Kentucky Jelly'?" I ask.
Then he shows me the empty packet of KY Jelly had smeared all over his morning toast.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.
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︎ Jul 31 2020
What happens if you put capsaicin in jelly
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︎ Sep 11 2020
What is a printer's favorite type of jelly?
Jelly's fine, but paper jam is the best!
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︎ Jun 03 2020
What do you get when you cross Jelly, peanut butter, and bread?
This has two outcomes: a) person says what. b) person says sandwich
a) A sandwich! What did you think youβd get?
b) You know, you have no clue how many people say what!
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︎ Jul 26 2020
What is Alanis Morissette's favorite jelly?
A traffic jam...when she's already late.
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︎ May 16 2020
What is a Killer Queenβs favourite jelly?
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Whatβs the worst kind of jelly to put in your PB&J?
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︎ Mar 07 2020
My wife says I shouldn't put so much jelly on my toast
But I can't help it, that shit's my jam
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︎ May 19 2020
A jelly tanker overturned
It made a lot of traffic jam
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︎ Dec 31 2019
What do you get if you cross jelly with a helicopter?
A jellycopter.
A joke my daughter told me when she was about 6.
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︎ Oct 12 2019
Why was the mint jelly nervous?
Because it was always on the lamb
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︎ Aug 20 2019
My uncle has started a successful jelly factory.
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︎ Sep 03 2019
What do you call a male renaissance artist with a bowl of jelly?
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︎ Jul 05 2019
I used to think the stuff in your nose was called "nose jelly"
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︎ Apr 17 2019
My daughter got jelly on her nightgown
I said, "no big deal, you'll just have sweet dreams."
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︎ Jun 03 2016
If you were in a pool full of jelly, and you threw in some fruit...
You'd really be in a jam.
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Why did the man smear jelly on the open door?
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︎ Apr 09 2019
I wish you could make jelly out of music...
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︎ Mar 12 2019
Donβt be jelly of sofishticated efishiency.
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︎ May 19 2018
I hate when you randomly find jelly and jam.
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︎ Sep 08 2018
I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich...
The peanut butter said, "Do you want to stick together?"
The jelly replied, "You're nuts!"
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︎ Aug 23 2018
As he wiped the jelly from one eye and the cake from the other he realised I was not someone to be trifled with.
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︎ Jun 28 2018
I went to a friends house party and stumbled onto a cabinet full of jelly....
I guess you could say the party was jam-packed.
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︎ Aug 10 2018
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︎ Jun 02 2018
βDaddy, make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,β a four-year-old tells his father.
His father responds, βOk, youβre a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.β
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︎ Jan 04 2018
I think it would be awesome to own a store where I sold home made jellies, jams, and preserves.
Someone would ask me for a recommendation. Then I'd grab a jar from a shelf and say "This one right here is my jam."
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︎ Mar 03 2018
I had a picture of welch's grape jelly as my phone lock screen for a solid month before the wife asked me about it.
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︎ Dec 01 2016
I asked my gf to make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
She responds, "it would be difficult to make you a pb&j because you are too big. You would be large peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
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︎ Feb 10 2017
Did you hear the one about the couple who confused window cement with KY-Jelly?
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︎ Sep 16 2013
Trouble opening a jar of jelly...
So my 11 year old daughter was having trouble opening a jar of grape jelly and asked for my help. I took it and got it open after a bit of a struggle, and said...."Wow, that lid was really JAMMED on there." I got a world class eye roll out of her.
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︎ Jan 23 2016
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
You can't jelly out to your favorite tunes.
Alternative: It's impossible to be jam of how good I look.
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︎ Oct 11 2015
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
I can't jelly out to Pink Floyd!
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︎ Oct 08 2014
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