A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....

I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 973
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What did the monk say who saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?

I can't believe it's not Buddha.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LongDecision1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Why did Margarine get detention?

Everyone butter was on time to class.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idontgiveAdam333
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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Margarine is good

But it's not butter than the alternative

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luispe94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Why were margarine's parents disappointed in her?

They had raised her butter.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShanShen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Good bakers use real butter so that there is no margarine for error.
πŸ‘︎ 873
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Have you all heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of jesus in a tub of margarine?

He said β€œi cant believe its not Buddha”

πŸ‘︎ 246
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πŸ‘€︎ u/basecamp13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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A lot of people consider me to be the margarine of comedy

I tell a joke and they can’t believe it’s not better.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamiltonscale
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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I started a company to sell my recipe of soy based margarine.

Its soyda butter... and soyda not!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jazzywaffles84
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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Did you know about the guy who only eats margarine?

Yeah, he knows no butter

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingPeppie
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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A breadbox is talking to his fellow margarine stick...

β€œWhere’s my money?” asked the box.

β€œI’ll get it to you, don’t worry!” the stick answered, slipping up on his words and having a meltdown.

β€œWell, you butter get it to me quickly, or you’re toast!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowPan69
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the joke about margarine?

I butter not tell it, it might spread.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullydazed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2017
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My friend was told to use a margarine tub as a protective cup...

...but he was afraid he'd get a knob of butter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RafflesEsq
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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What's the difference between butter and margarine?

There is margarinely more fat in butter!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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How have we not improved on margarine more?

I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisazy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can’t believe it’s not better.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my Foot last week

And it's still bruised, I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_a_problem69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Tibetan Monk say when he saw Jesus in a tub of margarine?

"I can't believe it's not Buddha."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mayorodoyle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a margarine tub?

I can't believe it's not Buddah.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShibbleNibble
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in his margarine tub?

I can't believe it's not buddha

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natulm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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