Mr. Macaroni to his son:

Tell your sister it's pasta bed time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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Macaroni and Cheese
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benbloggs42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Holy Macaroni!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KimsTheUnicorn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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My friend asked me if I had macaroni in my pocket

I replied β€œIt’s pastable”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wellbehavedbitch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Elbow macaroni, anyone?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaddyMayIPun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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A macaroni went down the spaghetti road then died

It's pastaway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hunsweeper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Do they put yeast in macaroni noodles?

Idk honestly, but if they do, I think that would be a mac made in leaven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jellysquidd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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My girlfriend and I were making macaroni and cheese today. Before showing her my method of re-packaging the Velveeta, I said to her...

Don’t worry, I’ve been around the block a few times in my day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbdakotam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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What do you use to tie a macaroni necklace together with?

String cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkpicklez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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Macaroni and cheese box made a dad joke... it's actually pretty clever...

Here it is: http://imgur.com/i9QdQi6

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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The perfect name for cheesy pasta endorsed by Ed Gein?

Macaroni and Cheeks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnapshotHeadache
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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I hope you aren’t lactose intolerant

I like my jokes just like my macaroni, overly cheesy

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Country girl goes to visit her big city cousin.

So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, β€œGolly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, β€œDon’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says β€œI’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, β€œI’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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[Pun Request] Puns about Mae/Des

Hey guys, this might sound too cheesy and I'm not sure if I'm posting on the right subreddit.

Every Saturday I give my SO a printed typography paper that I personally design with a pun of her name on it (her name is Des, I call her Mae so either is good).

Here's a sample of what I do.

Problem is, I can make the designs, but I'm running out of puns. Here's a list of what I've already done:

Des puns:

  • Hardest

  • Wordes (Words)

  • Widest

  • Uncondesionally (Unconditionally)

  • DrivES

  • Dessert

  • Fades

  • Des (This)

  • Holidess (Happy Holidays!)

  • Desperate

  • Desision (Decision)

  • Decades

  • Desert

  • Destination

  • Dress (DrESs)

  • Despresso (Espresso)

Mae puns:

  • Maend (I hope you don't maend(mind)
  • Maecadamia (Macadamia)
  • Maengo (Mango)
  • Maecaroni (Macaroni)
  • Maeple (Maple)
  • Lifetimae (Lifetime)
  • Imaegine (Imagine)
  • Chamaeleon (Chameleon)
  • Caramael (Caramel)
  • Achievemaent (Achievement)
  • Gmaes (Games)
  • Maek (Make)
  • Drmae (Dream)
  • Dramey (Dreamy)
  • Maesure (Measure)
  • Blmae (Blame)
  • Maet (Mate)
  • Climaet (Climate)
  • Ultimaet (Ultimate)
  • Maebe (Maybe)
  • Mae (My one and only)
  • Mae (Whatever May Happen)
  • Maen (You mean everything to me)
  • Maent (We're meant to be)
  • Amaezing (Amazing)
  • Maeutiful (Beautiful... I know)
  • Maechiatto (Macchiato)

I'd really appreciate some help if you guys have any puns reserved. Anything will do, really.

Thanks!

EDIT: Formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roastedtuna
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
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After the stock market crash, the former millionaire was depressed

He was used to living the good life, and all the perks that go with it. His refined palette missed the fine dining, at five-star restaurants run by top chefs. Now reduced to eating macaroni and cheese with hotdogs, he looked down at his plate and contemplated suicide.

It was a wurst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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What do Apple executives eat?

Macaroni.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_Groundhog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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Dad's puns compilation

For the record, my dad didn't say any of these. Also, they get kind of weird near the end.

My vacuum sucks, or, rather, doesn't suck.

That drawing looks sketchy. Something about it looks... shady.

Lightbulb is a smart guy. Some might even say he's bright.

"Mmm, cheesy" he says as he takes the macaroni out of the oven.

When entering a planetarium, my father mentioned how he'd like some cookies with his Milky Way.

Oreolas = cookie nipples (Couldn't really think of a way to set this one up that didn't make it even more awkward.)

"Underwear? Under there?" My dad mentioned as he put his pants away.

Edit: If you've any others, share them in the comments!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JB_Big_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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When I was a kid my sister shattered her elbow and was taken to the hospital.

When my dad arrived, he said "this is for if you ever need a new one" and gave her a box of elbow macaroni noodles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpehlingAirer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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I found a brightly coloured feather on the ground, picked it up and put it in my hat band and said "Hey, do you guys know what this is?" "No, what?"

"Macaroni."

Groans all around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agoatforavillage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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