What did the Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?
Nothing he was gladiator.
π︎ 540
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
He's lion
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
I love the Lion King...
...but Simba is so slow. Sometimes I wish he'd Mufasa.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
What do you get when you cross a bear and a mountain lion together?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Mountain lions are very rarely spotted in the wild...
Thatβs because mountain lions aren't spotted, cheetahs are!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
My dad has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
π︎ 21
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 06 2021
I got my car horn fixed at a Lion King themed shop called Scar's Auto Body.
π︎ 41
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Once upon a time a lion and a cheetah had a race . This is what happened.
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Why do big-game hunters mount their lionsβ heads?
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.
π︎ 388
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
My favorite animals are tigers and lions.
You could say that Iβm a big cat person.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
What's the Lion King's favorite month?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
What's a lion's favorite color?
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?
π︎ 17
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︎ Jan 13 2021
What does a lion call an antelope?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
My Dadβs sister got eaten by a lion with a long nose
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 04 2021
I guess the lion spotted a cheater
π︎ 36
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Anyone hear the theory that mufasa from the lion king is really a cow?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Look at this lion ass
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 02 2020
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Natives of the African jungle, when avoiding predators, call the distance between you and a lion a βwimbβ
Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein
π︎ 62
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Why is a lion never lonely?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
What did the cannibalistic lion do when he went to apologize?
π︎ 111
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
I just catapulted a lion at the zoo
You would not believe the uproar.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
A cheetah and a lion are racing in Africa
After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: "Man, you're a cheetah" and the cheetah says: "Naw man you're a lion".
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
For me, the urge to sing βThe Lion Sleeps Tonightβ is always just a whim away...
...a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
How does a lion become a cannibal?
He must first swallow his pride.
π︎ 62
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
Why da fuck did tha lion eat tha tightrope walker? He wanted er well-balanced meal!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
What do you get if you cross a dog with a lion?
A terrified postman!. π
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Do you know how badass lions are?
They became kings of the jungle without even living there
π︎ 23
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
What do you call a vocal female lion?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
Why do lions only mate in the summer?
Because the pride comes before the fall!
π︎ 70
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︎ Jul 23 2020
Have you heard about the lions that escaped from the circus last night?
I heard they went straight to the juggler
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
What's the difference between a Sea Lion and a Seal?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
My granddad has the heart of a lion
and a lifetime ban from London zoo.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
My dad has a heart of a lion!
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
My grandfather had the heart of a lion
And a permanent ban from the nearby zoo
π︎ 44
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I have the eye of a tiger and the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 216
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
I came so close to singing "the lion sleeps tonight"
I was only a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
For me, the urge to sing βThe Lion Sleeps Tonightβ is always just a whim away...
a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Sep 20 2019
My grandpa has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
I have the heart of a lionβ¦
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 29 2020
The sudden urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
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