I have the eye of a tiger and the heart of a lion

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
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I just read that a tiger was spotted downtown

I don't really believe it though, if it was spotted its probably a leopard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaxman_cometh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
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Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...

Oops...A Daisy

https://preview.redd.it/wxa25n2a58c51.png?width=2478&format=png&auto=webp&s=8e61299d08db7234a2776473a1ad3c254e04ee80

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l17charlie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
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I've heard so much about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one talks about…

…the other four letters?

πŸ‘︎ 573
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 02
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I once had the king of the jungle tell me he was actually a tiger.

He was lion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
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What do you call a tiger that’s just come from the hair stylist?

Sheared Khan

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
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Eye of the tiger
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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Tony the Tiger is dead... Murdered!

It was a cereal killer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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My wife is trying to make a Tiger King cake for a friend.

I told her it looks all methed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunstoned1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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Did you know there are more tiger kings in captivity in the US . . .

. . . Then there are in the wild?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanielInfrangible
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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What do you call a female tiger?

Tigerl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hrishic2327
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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How did Tiger King become so popular during this pandemic?

Netflix is great with viral marketing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AzarVC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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If I said I could be a tiger without stripes....

I'd be lion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...

It was a sleight exaggeration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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How do you know if a tiger is male or female?

Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AciTroniX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Who would win between a totally white Dalmatian and a Tiger?

Well, certainly not the Tiger, because the Dalmatian wouldn't be spotted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gradymegalania
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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TIL that Tiger Woods always brings an extra sock with him to his golf tournaments.

Just in case he gets a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinityglitches
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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How do you outrun a horse, tiger, lion, and elephant that are chasing you?

Get your drunk ass off of the merry-go-round.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Why do tigers have stripes?

So they don’t get spotted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthDog371
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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The eye of the tiger
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Orsynium
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?

A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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What did the tiger say after he ate the professor?

"Mmmmmm... nutty."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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I got the "I" of the Tiger
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πŸ‘€︎ u/araghar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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The tiger got loose at the circus and made it's first kill quick.

It went right for the juggler.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamman1358
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Tony the Tiger was charged with first degree murder yesterday...

Guess he was a cereal killer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CokeDude22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Did you know when an animal is injured at the zoo, they take it to the tiger enclosure?

Well yeah! That's where all the big CAT scans are done

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBaldNerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Why did Tiger Woods return the donuts?

Because there was a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeyondanyReproach
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I heard Tiger Woods got a DUI...

He should have picked a different driver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fr4gnetic
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Which side of a tiger has the most stripes?

The outside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownie-mix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crow in a tiger costume?

A comma.

Because it has paws at the end of its caws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThriveBrewing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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Why do tigers have stripes?

So they cant be spotted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/snerlord
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tiger in the desert?

Sandy-Claws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/royalrizzo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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What kind of cheeses does Tony the Tiger put on pizza?

They're Grrrrated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pluripotense
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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I just came across a tiger in a jungle.

I immediately wiped it off and apologised.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cleatus029
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Why do tigers have stripes?

So you can't spot them!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Newt24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the tiger tell his cubs before dinner?

Shall we prey?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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I have seen a tiger, dandelion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yourigh
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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The PGA recently held a gala to honor Tiger Woods.

It was a black/Thai event.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2017
🚨︎ report
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.

But a dino might.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kidnorthstar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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What did Tony the Tiger say to the milk jug when asked about a bunch of swollen raisins sitting in the corner of the fridge?

They’re GRRRRRAPES!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SixPhalaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my family that I've got the eye of the tiger!

Now it just says, "tger."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I was at the Tigers game last night

I was sitting in some beautiful seats, just past third base down on ground level. A good spot for some foul balls.

After several whiffs, one finally gets close enough to my father, which he promptly takes in the ribs instead of catching, and like before, the bat boy runs by to pick up the ball - only this time he doesn't throw it back into the crowd. Makes our whole section upset (that, and all the beer we were drinking) so he gets booed every time he walks by now.

The dad joke, however, comes from the guy behind me.

"That kid better watch out...I'm gonna talk to his dad. Batman!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d4ed4e
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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Why was the tiger mad after the annual animal race?

Because the winner was a cheetah

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nurris
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
🚨︎ report
Whilst watching the football my dad pounced like a humour tiger

We were watching the England Italy game and Raheem Stirling made a good run to the box, the commentator then says "great effort by Stirling there" to which my dad responded "shouldn't that be a Sterling effort?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nothayesnewton
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Learned this from my dad: How do you catch a tiger?

There are a number of ways to catch a tiger, but following these simple steps will guarantee success:

  1. Dig a huge hole in the middle of the forest.
  2. Fill the hole half way up with ashes.
  3. Take some frozen peas, and put them all around the edge of the hole.
  4. Wait.
  5. When the tiger comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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Came up with this one while watching The X Files: how did the tiger make it all the way across town without being spotted?

It was easy because tigers are striped. I'm so sorry...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fisticuffsmanship
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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My dad asked me, "Who is the man who got attacked by tigers the most?"

After I didn't know he pointed to this sign: http://imgur.com/ex7tc2c

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeastOfTheEast15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2014
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What did one tiger say to another tiger when his honesty was questioned?

"I'm not Lion"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/catakab1198
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2013
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Why does Tony the Tiger love purple fruit?

They're G-R-R-R-APE!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajustyle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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It's a shame Detroit Tigers great Al Kaline didn't play pitcher or catcher

I think he would've worked out great in a battery!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vernonpost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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For any baseball fans out there...a text from my Dad (we're BIG Tigers fans)

Dad:You ready? Me: Thanks for the text! Didn't have it on but do now. Yup! Are you? Dad: I Scherzer am!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_seed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2013
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My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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