Are oranges born to be juiced?

... Or will they only do it when they are under pressure?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forstuvetankel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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And now she’s in an β€˜in-juiced’ coma
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinotor86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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I'm feeling pretty juiced up after this one this morning
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πŸ‘€︎ u/booneruni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
  • I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Salamander7965
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I had this massive piece of steak on the barbecue last night. As it was cooking, the smell of the juices made my mouth salivate.

I had a thought. I wondered if vegetarians had the same effect, while mowing their lawn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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What do you call some who steals a glass of juice on a cruise?

A pirate of the Hi-Cs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
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I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.

I had in-cider information.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.

"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logansworth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Get him some Juice
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoyPaul66
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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The orange juice industry is not doing very well.

Tomorrow they will give a special press release.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!

This is not the right whey.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.

I need to concentrate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateahoj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.

My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill. My wife while looking at me: -.-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorPeterr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHATstuFF21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,

he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agsederq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day

Wife: who’s skull is that

Me: a man named Phillip

Wife: what’s in it?

Me: vodka and orange juice.

Wife: .......

Me: it’s a Phillips head screwdriver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_eat_unwiped_ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!

Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:

Chicken nuggets PB&Js (in the shape of guitars) Veggie tray Fruit tray Water & juice

I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know πŸ˜‚ Help me out if you can think of any more!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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What do you call juice with no ice in it?

Ju

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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins

It’s the weight and c approach I guess

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seatheous
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What do you call an iPhone's battery?

Apple juice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team.

He's the pitcher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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New album by Juice Springsteen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnideOctopus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What if someone made raisins with juice in them

That would be grape

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πŸ‘€︎ u/That1GuyPrivate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice

They were really sour about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems

But neither does juice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunny_McShoot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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β€œDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?” -5yo

β€œWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.”

β€œWhat?”

β€œYa it should lose focus soon enough.”

the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.

This happened tonight. We were talking about β€œconcentrate” because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like β€œwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says β€˜concentrate’.” So we were talking about what the word meant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8bagels
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What do you call iPhone chargers?

Apple juice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HarryMarryJerry
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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TIFU by telling a joke while overfilling a pitcher with that hawaiian juice drink...

I forgot the punch line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied

β€œIt’s easy peasy lemon squeegee”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mustacius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?

You consomme out of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?

Pulp Friction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?

Pulp fiction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?

Ya basic!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?

Lack of concentration.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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I inhaled my juice when I read this, now I'm coffin'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cooldude075
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Concentrated orange juice
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PleaseStabMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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I got canned from a Orange juice factory...

Just couldn't concentrate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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The orange juice industry is not doing very well.

Tomorrow they will give a special press conference

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosh1990
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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what do you call an iphone's battery?

apple juice

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I used to work at the orange juice factory..

I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VentilatedEgg
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.

I just couldn’t concentrate.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Popepepe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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