Are oranges born to be juiced?
... Or will they only do it when they are under pressure?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
And now sheβs in an βin-juicedβ coma
π︎ 16
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︎ Mar 19 2019
I'm feeling pretty juiced up after this one this morning
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 30 2018
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
- I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
π︎ 117
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︎ Mar 12 2021
I had this massive piece of steak on the barbecue last night. As it was cooking, the smell of the juices made my mouth salivate.
I had a thought. I wondered if vegetarians had the same effect, while mowing their lawn.
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 04 2021
My job application was rejected by a juice company...
I shouldnβt have mentioned my solid experience.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What do you call some who steals a glass of juice on a cruise?
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 22 2021
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
π︎ 40
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︎ Feb 26 2021
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 02 2021
Get him some Juice
π︎ 2k
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︎ Jul 12 2020
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
π︎ 57
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︎ Nov 02 2020
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I can't think about buying any stupid pure freshly squeezed juice right now.
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
π︎ 20
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︎ Oct 21 2020
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
π︎ 30
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︎ Oct 16 2020
I once saw a guy staring at a can of orange juice, and when I asked him why he was doing that,
he said, "because it says 'concentrate' on the can."
π︎ 18
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︎ Sep 21 2020
My wife saw me drinking from a Halloween skull the other day
Wife: whoβs skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: whatβs in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: itβs a Phillips head screwdriver
π︎ 204
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year oldβs birthday party!
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. Weβll be serving:
Chicken nuggets
PB&Js (in the shape of guitars)
Veggie tray
Fruit tray
Water & juice
Iβm struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have
Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isnβt even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know π Help me out if you can think of any more!
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 25 2021
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
Itβs the weight and c approach I guess
π︎ 232
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︎ May 21 2020
What do you call an iPhone's battery?
π︎ 102
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I heard the Kool Aid man is starting a baseball team.
π︎ 227
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
New album by Juice Springsteen
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 29 2020
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 25 2020
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice
They were really sour about it
π︎ 27
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︎ Jul 21 2020
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems
π︎ 18
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︎ Apr 08 2021
βDad, how do we make orange juice from the concentrate?β -5yo
βWe use 3 cans of water to distract it.β
βWhat?β
βYa it should lose focus soon enough.β
the eye rolls from my partner were fantastic.
This happened tonight. We were talking about βconcentrateβ because they read me silly jokes from their school milk cartons like βwhy does X stare at the can of OJ? Because it says βconcentrateβ.β So we were talking about what the word meant.
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 31 2020
What do you call iPhone chargers?
π︎ 28
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︎ Mar 12 2021
TIFU by telling a joke while overfilling a pitcher with that hawaiian juice drink...
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 04 2020
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
βItβs easy peasy lemon squeegeeβ
π︎ 10
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︎ Jul 11 2020
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2020
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
π︎ 142
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︎ Jan 08 2020
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
π︎ 52
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︎ Feb 04 2020
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
π︎ 8
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︎ May 06 2020
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
π︎ 29
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︎ Nov 15 2019
I inhaled my juice when I read this, now I'm coffin'
π︎ 52
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︎ Aug 27 2019
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
π︎ 40
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︎ Sep 23 2019
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 11 2020
Concentrated orange juice
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 22 2019
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
π︎ 168
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︎ Dec 24 2020
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press conference
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 02 2020
what do you call an iphone's battery?
π︎ 55
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︎ Mar 16 2021
I used to work at the orange juice factory..
I got fired because I couldn't concentrate...
π︎ 12
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︎ May 28 2020
I got fired from the frozen orange juice factory today.
I just couldnβt concentrate.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Aug 24 2018
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