For my birthday in mid-January, I invited a few friends over to a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units inhabited primarily by impoverished persons.
It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
Person in front of me ordering coffee asked "can I have a large house?"
And I said "not without a large mortgage"
My wife and I are finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting The Golden Gate in person.
She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”
I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
In reality every person is a terraphil
It's a scientific fact: you can never be so attracted to an other person as you are attracted to the Earth
What does a vampire and a person who wears a mask have in common?
They both can't see their face in the mirror.
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
Once upon a time in numberland, a three-person race was held
In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.
-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.
(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)
Next month, I’m going to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in San Francisco in person.
My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”
Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
I was thinking that I am the kindest person in the world. Then I saw German kids.
To the person in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.
You can hide, but you can't run.
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
Who's the coolest person in the hospital?
I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.
We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.
What do you call a person who loves both himself and waffles more than anything else in the world?
How do you keep a person in suspense?
What does a duck and a homeless person have in common?
What do you call a person that takes a nap in front of a car?
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?
One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper
What did the first person in a colored photo say?
I hit a surprised person in the face
What's the worst thing a blind person can read in Braille?
What do you call a person in prehistoric times that wanders around aimlessly?
What do you call a person in D.C. that never leaves the first floor of a building?
What do you call a person who reads Tin Tin books while in quarantine?
What is a person who dances nimbly in the phalanx? A Hoplite.
Did you hear about the person who hit their head in a maize maze?
They had suffered a corncussion
What do you call a sad person in the Caribbean?
My friend takes bets on who's the ugliest person in a crowd.
What did the blind person say when he felt a typo in the brail
Somethings wrong I can feel it
A person was accused of burying someone in cement
but there was no concrete evidence.
Comments under a post about first picture of a person dying in an electric chair.
What do you call a person who doesn't believe in coronavirus?
Why did the depressed person put his booze in the elevator?
He wanted something to lift his spirits.
The funniest things are always said in the third person.
What do you call a person who never farts in public?
Who's the coolest person in the hospital?
The ultra sound guy.
When he's not at work it's the hip replacement guy.
What did one person say to another in the case of an earthquake?
"I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation were in"
What is the title of a person who is in charge of a furniture company?
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.
She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”
I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
How do you keep a slow person in suspense?
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello
Who’s the nicest person in a hospital?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
