My wife told me I’ve grown as a person
Her actual word were “you’ve gotten fat”, but I know what she meant.
I just found out that Einstein was a real person...
I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
What award should the person get who invented knock knock jokes?
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
This whole time I thought he was just a theoretical physicist...
What's the difference between a horribly dressed person on a two wheeler and a nicely dressed person on a three wheeler?
What did the tomato say to the person who was about to eat him?
I hate you from my head to-ma-toes.
Warning...."To the person who stole my glasses....."
"I'll find you....I have contacts."
Person to my dad “How long have you been married?”
Dad: “10 of the happiest years of my life”
(They’ve been married 43 years)
What do you get if you mix a dumb person with a donut?
Kinder Person Award goes to...
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
What do you call a person who can't hear?
You can call him anything cause he won't able to hear you.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?
As an immune deficient person, anti vaxxers make me sick
What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?
I found out today that I perfectly match the profile of the type of person who spoils their ballot paper.
I tick all the right boxes.
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
THERE ISN'T A SINGLE PERSON ALIVE TODAY WHO IS
If a male person bursts into laughter...
... can he then be accused of manslaughter?
What do you call a smart gay person?
Every person you have ever met..
When a short person waves at you, it's called....
The person who invented Russian roulette
Person 1: “Will you follow me?”
Person 2: “No I’m gonna follow sleep.”
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
What do you call a little person psychic on the run from the cops?
What does a person who is turned on by tall buildings have?
What does a dead person do to lose weight?
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
For my birthday in mid-January, I invited a few friends over to a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units inhabited primarily by impoverished persons.
It's my first slum-brrrr party so wish us luck!
Person in front of me ordering coffee asked "can I have a large house?"
And I said "not without a large mortgage"
What do you call it when a British person takes a good long look at something?
My wife and I are finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting The Golden Gate in person.
She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”
I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.
What do you call an agnostic person during the Christmas season?
What do you say to the person getting breast reduction procedure?
I hope it takes the weight off your chest.
What do you call a person who can't stop stealing kitchen supplies?
TIL Albert Einstein was a real person.
I had always thought he was only a theoretical physicist.
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?
When a short person waves at you, what do you call it?
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