A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,
"People like you make me sick!".
You see a boat filled with people, but when you look closer you don't find a single person in it. Why?
Because everyone is married.
I’ve just been voted the most secretive person in the whole world
I can’t tell you how much this means to me
What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?
Did that man in the Bible really leave his sense of sight in the hands of one person claiming to be the son of God?
Sent a letter addressed to “The Smartest Person in the World”
I couldn’t believe it when I found it in my mail box with the words “Return to Sender” stamped on it! It was me all along!
Once a coin saved a person's life, the coin was in his shirt pocket, the coin deflected the bullet shot at him
The coin was truly his life savings
A person asked a Muslim scholar of its allowed to smoke marijuana in his country?
He replied: only gays get stoned here
What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants in quicksand?
My wife and I are finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting The Golden Gate in person.
She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”
I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
Person in front of me ordering coffee asked "can I have a large house?"
And I said "not without a large mortgage"
Next month, I’m going to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in San Francisco in person.
My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”
Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
In reality every person is a terraphil
It's a scientific fact: you can never be so attracted to an other person as you are attracted to the Earth
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
What does a vampire and a person who wears a mask have in common?
They both can't see their face in the mirror.
I went back in time to kill the person that made bread.
Now he yeasts to exist.
One I came up with myself
Once upon a time in numberland, a three-person race was held
In it took part the Minus sign, and the numbers zero and -2. All three ended the race at precisely the same time.
-2, Minus Won; 0 Won Too.
(Reddit, I am counting on you to make this stupid joke popular!)
I was thinking that I am the kindest person in the world. Then I saw German kids.
To the person in the wheelchair that stole my camo jacket.
You can hide, but you can't run.
Who's the coolest person in the hospital?
How do you keep a person in suspense?
What do you call a person who loves both himself and waffles more than anything else in the world?
I used to be in a relationship with a person who made edible stickers for a living.
We had to part ways though, they were getting too clingy for my tastes.
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?
One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper
What do you call a person that takes a nap in front of a car?
What's the worst thing a blind person can read in Braille?
What do you call a person who reads Tin Tin books while in quarantine?
What did the first person in a colored photo say?
What do you call a person in prehistoric times that wanders around aimlessly?
What do you call a person in D.C. that never leaves the first floor of a building?
I hit a surprised person in the face
What is a person who dances nimbly in the phalanx? A Hoplite.
Did you hear about the person who hit their head in a maize maze?
They had suffered a corncussion
What do you call a sad person in the Caribbean?
What did the blind person say when he felt a typo in the brail
Somethings wrong I can feel it
A person was accused of burying someone in cement
but there was no concrete evidence.
My wife and I are planning a trip to San Francisco to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing The Golden Gate in person.
She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”
I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
How do you keep a slow person in suspense?
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello
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