Where do fish go to get medicine

the pharmasea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsgkiwi_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Asked my dad why he wanted to go catch big fish as he isn’t a fisherman.

His response.... just for the halibut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bswenning
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go?

Trouter space

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnb1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Hey Dad why do you go to that particular place to eat fish and chips?

Just for the Halibut

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phroedrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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why did the fish go to med school?

to become a sturgeon

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fauntlero
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A pod of porpoises moved into the harbor near my town. So, me and my friends decided to go camping on the beach to check it out. We brought beer for us and some raw fish to feed the pod. Everybody had a great time. You could say it was a party

for all in tents and porpoises.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
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You can go fish yourself.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paracosmicpioneer
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was frying some food to go with my fish and my dark started barking

So I screamed β€œHUSH PUPPY”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madijoy14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The fish & chip shop I go to still wraps up their meals in newspaper

Yesterday I got a plaice in The Sun.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Went to a local fish camp and the server wrote this on our to go box
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thestrawthatstirs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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Where does a Horse go when it gets sick? A fish? A duck? A bird? A wolf? A dog?

The horsepital. The weterinarian. The ducktor. The flychologist. The dentist. On your carpet usually.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Regular fish get educated in schools, but where do sharks go for education?

Ok this requires a bit of context. In Norwegian, shark translates to hai. The answer is therefore:

Sharks go to Hai-Schools!

This is quite a classic, in norwegian, but as we don’t call groups of fish schools, i found this joke works for both languages! Hope you enjoyed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imodigum
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the fish go into debt?

Because he got caught up in a pond-zi scheme

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lebrooklynderp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
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What do they call baby fish going through the change of life?

Minnow pause?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My buddy invited me to go fishing with him.

But when he told me the fish were biting I said, β€œheck no!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PulkPush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Two buddies decide to go ice-fishing one day.

So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.

Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"

"What was that?"

"It sounded like the voice of God!"

"Well let's try somewhere else."

They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:

"There are no fish here!"

So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:

"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeppermintBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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My dad says to me,"Hey,let's go fishing! We'll take the canoe."

I told him,"It's actually pronounced"gnu."The "g" is silent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me why I call him Julius whenever we go fishing

That's cause he's a row-man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought some minnows to go fishing, but they gave me earthworms...

it was the old bait and switch.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmellyRapscallion
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine, who is always up for pranks, asked if I wanted to go fishing with him
  • I don't know, whats the catch?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?

Bookworms.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do famous Youtubers use when they go fishing?

Click Bait

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I was pretty hungry so I decided to go fishing...

You know, just for the halibut...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A son and his father go fishing together for the first time.

Son: how do I catch a fish?

Dad: Easy, just throw this clickbait into the water.

Son: Got it, what’s next?

Dad: What happens next will shock you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icy9kills
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to hate going fishing

but then I got hooked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xJammy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to give a guard a toy before I was allowed to go fishing in the lake...

I guess that's the Fisher Price.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magedmyself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A fish was swimming fast but wasn't looking where it was going and then, WHAM, it ran into a wall...

The fish looked at the wall and said, "Dam."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.

I guess I found my self in a real β€œpara-docks”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't you see DJs go fishing?

They keep dropping the bass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brdwdly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the opera singer go fishing?

Oh, for tuna.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a fish joke here...

But I don't think it's the right plaice to. I feel like I'll just flounder. I'm a dab hand with bad puns, though I'm probably gonna look like a right bass. I trout this'll be very popular. I mean, sal-mon, it's pretty bad. I think I need to tuna bit of it. I should ask my friend Hali-but she's probably busy. So no dice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandpa always said, β€œAlways try to be the fish going against the current.”

Good man. Got electrocuted every day though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Whenever I go fishing, I switch my playlist and listen to...

Something catchy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marfalump
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Laughing at the Law

A game warden caught a man fishing without a licence "You're going to have to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket," said the warden.

"But officer," the fisherman replied, "I didn't catch these - they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done, they jump back in the bucket."

"Oh, really? This i've got to see. If you can prove it, i'll let you go without a fine."

The fisherman emptied the bucket into the lake and waited patiently. A few minutes went by and nothing happened.

"So where are the fish?" asked the warden.

"What fish?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoganWren
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
what do you get when you go fishing with a MMA fighter

the punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OGShouterBoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Apparently I have to release everything I catch when i go fishing today.

They tell me there's this thing called throw back Thursday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Fishing! What could possibly go wrong?

My old man is quite a character. He once took my sister and I freshwater fishing and taught us how to bait a hook with nightcrawlers. We were perhaps 7 or 8, and somewhat sheltered, so of course what happened next went right over our heads.

Dad: hey, kids! Which of you is better at baiting a hook? Which of you is the β€’removes sunglassesβ€’ master baiter?

My sister and I, of course, immediately begin arguing about it. That wily old man had us going back and forth "I'm the master baiter!", "No, I am!", "No, me!". Dad, meanwhile, was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Tl;dr- my Dad is a fucking smart ass

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kinsar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
🚨︎ report
My brother in-law an I are going fishing tomorrow morning and my daughter asked what we are fishing for.

I told her, "just for the halibut (hell of it)"

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
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[long pun, bear with it] A father and son are going fishing...

The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/appa-ate-momo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Might go fishing this weekend. For the Halibut.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
🚨︎ report
There was this fish, and he was just swimming, and swimming around, not looking where he was going...

Then BAM! He ran into a wall.

The fish backed up, looked at the wall, and said,

"Dam."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiefsa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you go fishing illegally?

You get cod

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0t__em
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do fish hate going to court?

Because they're always found gill-ty

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyMarshmellow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
So I decided to go fishing

I just went for the halibut

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killadude666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes I go fishing just for the halibut
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brodcasting
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Hey dad, why do you go fishing all of the time?

"Just for the halibut"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blob6
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report

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