A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
I used to think toking weed and snorting lines of coke made me a cool guy
but it was all just smoke and mirrors.
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "One whiskey and ................... one coke.
"Why the big pause?" - says the bartender.
"I don't know. I was born with them" - says the bear.
I called my wife and told her I'd pick up pizza and coke on my way back home from work, but she's not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the twins.
I have a job crushing coke cans
Nobody ever asks "How is Coke doing ?"
It's always "Is Pepsi ok ?"
Why shouldn’t you drink eight cokes?
>!Because you can throw seven up.!<
>!Credit to my wife, so /r/momjokes. She just told me this laughed more than I should have.!<
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
I called my wife and told her that I'll pick up pizza and coke on the way back from work. But it seems she was not happy.
She still regrets letting me name the kids.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.
Don't worry, I'm not hurt.
It was a soft drink.
Line of coke(has this been done?)
Must have been high on coke.
On a post about concrete coke
My health conscious date asked me how many liters are there in a glass of coke.
I said 4 liters, 9 if you include the glass.
She said: "What!?"
Me: Yea.
Liter C.
Liter O.
Liter K.
Liter E.
I started selling coke last week...
I’m already behind the 8 ball!
Why did Diet Coke join the KKK?
You're fired, Jack. The test results came back, and you tested positive for Coke
My friend hit me with a full bottle of Coke...
But it didn't hurt, because it was a soft drink!
I can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi...
My dog got a woof of some coke, it was a ruff day.
What do you call a bottle of Coke that explodes?
i once tried to squash a can of coke.
the end result was soda-pressing.
I tried coke once
Just to see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be
Mexican Coke is my favourite variety, especially because its from a specific area...
...guess that makes it a coke-lloquialism.
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke
But he was alright because it was a soft drink
Before I had weights, I used to work out by lifting cases of Coke.
I had to stop, because it was soda pressing.
A bottle of coke just fell out of the fridge onto my foot.
I’m so glad it was a soft drink
I got hit in the head today with a Diet Coke. Don’t worry. I’m not hurt....
What happens when you drink 10 Cokes?
What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?
I got hit by a can of coke earlier.
It didn't hurt though as it was a soft drink.
Someone threw a bottle of coke at my head today
But I'm not hurt, don't worry. It was a soft drink
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.
Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
Someone threw a can of coke at my head today....
Im ok though, it was a soft drink
You shouldn't snort coke
You'll get ice cubes stuck in your nose.
I called my wife and said that I’ll pick up pizza and coke on the way home from work. But I was met with a stony silence.
I think she still regrets letting me name the kids.
A man got hit hard in the head with a can of Coke
It’s alright though, it was a soft drink.
I let my kids taste coke for the first time...
... little shits blew the powder everywhere
I can hardly believe New Coke is coming back.
But stranger things have happened.
Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
The difference between Meth and Coke...
TIL which state they make the 7.5oz cans of coke in...
Why did my dad not mind when I threw a coke at his head?
I tried snorting coke once,
but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose!
I put my coke can next to my computer before picking up a phone call from your mom. I knocked it over.
I guess you could say that was poor product placement.
I think my brother has a coke problem
We are switching to sprite
Have I ever told you about my job at the Coke factory?
I was lying on the floor today, repeatedly lifting a 12-pack of Coke up and down off my chest...
...and all I could think was, "This is soda-pressing."
My dad told me that back in the day, there was a silent movie parody of Sherlock Holmes called “Coke Ennyday”.
And I said, “Isn’t that a bit on the nose?”
Everytime i do coke...
I end up gettin ice in my nose
When I asked the can crusher at the Coke factory about his job...
....he said it was soda pressing.
:(
Watching a documentary on a guy who works 60 hours a week crushing coke cans.
How much do Coke bottles cost?
About a dollar a pop, soda speak.
Whats the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of coke?
Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window
Have you even opened that box of Coke yet? They've been sitting there for a month, are you even going to drink them?
Not yet, I like to have them just in case.
I found a line of coke in the bathroom! (I'm a dad, can you tell?)
how can you make a both comedian and a coke dealer hate you?
What did the empty Coke can say when his friend was crushed?
So I told my dad I've started drinking Jack and coke on the weekends.
My dad looked me square in the eyes and with 100% seriousness.
"Careful...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^gggggg
Do you realize how bad...
Coca Cola is for you?"
My experience growing up in a coke house...
When I was a child, I grew up in a coke house. I guess I can see the appeal in it. I tried it a few times and had a good time, but then one day a friend of mine introduced me to a new product. From that point on I knew I was a Pepsi guy.
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?
”
The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.
Don't worry, I'm not hurt.
It was a soft drink.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.
Don’t worry. I’m not hurt
It was a soft drink
I got hit in the head with a can of some Diet Coke today...
But don't worry...I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today!!
Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink...
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today.
Don't worry, I'm not hurt.
It was a soft drink.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
