Whiskey is an amazing invention...
2 doubles and you start feeling single again.
A ghost walks into a taproom, "Bartender, give me a shot of whiskey"
Bartender: I'm sorry we don't serve sprits here.
I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already.
A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks "Is this whiskey" ?
The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank"
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve spirits here."
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
do you want ice with that?
Yes but can I get fresh ice please none of that frozen rubbish!
“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
I told the dentist my teeth were hurting so he told me to go home and drink some Whiskey
Quasimodo walks into a bar and asks for a glass of whiskey.
Bells alright? Asks the barman.
None of your fucking business he replies.
It's true whiskey improves with age.
The older I get the more I like it.
A man's wife decided to become a whiskey-maker.
They say there's a cryptid by the train station that drinks American whiskey late at night
But I'm sure that's just a bourbon legend.
I met my wife when she was a whiskey maker
Did you hear about the fraction that was arrested for drinking whiskey in public?
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."
But that's just generally speaking.
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says...
"Sorry we don’t serve food here."
I have always liked whiskey, but ever since my kids were born,
I have learned to love it.
I don't understand people who chase whiskey...
Not once has a bottle ever run from me.
Two Chinese guys break into a distillery. After breaking open the first cask one of them says to his friend, "Is this whiskey?"
His friend says, "Yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."
My cheating girlfriend has a job as a whiskey maker....
How does the KKK brew Whiskey?
Conversation with my son: Do you have a cup for your whiskey..
No, I use a shot glass..a cup is too big..7 shots bottle empty
and I would be dead..
-In that case, dead, no!
Ice cube paw in my whiskey..
What did the forklift operator do with the worker's whiskey?
To celebrate our wedding, my wife and I opened a few bottles from my late grandfather’s whiskey collection.
That way, he could be there in spirit.
Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one guy asks, "Is this whiskey?"
The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
I'm on the new Whiskey Diet.
I've lost 4 days already!
As a kid I attempted stealing alcohol from the refrigerator i then realized it was too whiskey.
My kids were arguing about what to watch on Netflix, so I started yelling, “Vodka! Tequila! Whiskey!...”
“In this house, I call the shots.”
How do mountain climbers like their whiskey?
May the Fifth Be Whiskey!
What do you call a half wine/half whiskey mix?
Why is Irish whiskey triple distilled?
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products
which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos
Whiskey and rum so are no longer allowed on Uber rides
You can only Lyft your spirits.
I recently found out that im allergic to whiskey...
Every time I drink it I break out into tears and bad decisions.
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "One whiskey and ................... one coke.
"Why the big pause?" - says the bartender.
"I don't know. I was born with them" - says the bear.
What does a judge get with his whiskey?
A bear walks into a bar and says „Give me a whiskey and... cola.“
Bartender: „Why the big pause?“
Bear: „I‘m not sure... I was born with them.“
My relationship with whiskey is....
I'm on a whiskey diet
I've lost 10 days already!