A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"

The bartender asked "why the big pause"

The bear replies "I was born with them"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KillRespectively1
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What does a judge get with his whiskey?

Just ice.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sirnogbert88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fraction that was arrested for drinking whiskey in public?

He pled the fifth.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
A man's wife decided to become a whiskey-maker.

He loved her still.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stupidllama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
β€œPoor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, β€œSo how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, β€œYou’re the eighth.”

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "One whiskey and ................... one coke.

"Why the big pause?" - says the bartender.

"I don't know. I was born with them" - says the bear.

πŸ‘︎ 960
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πŸ‘€︎ u/woodybg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says...

"Sorry we don’t serve food here."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
I met my wife when she was a whiskey maker

I love her still.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
I don't understand people who chase whiskey...

Not once has a bottle ever run from me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RustyWood86
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report
I have always liked whiskey, but ever since my kids were born,

I have learned to love it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbett311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."

But that's just generally speaking.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Whiskey Business

Two Chinese guys break into a distillery. After breaking open the first cask one of them says to his friend, "Is this whiskey?"

His friend says, "Yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Conversation with my son: Do you have a cup for your whiskey..

No, I use a shot glass..a cup is too big..7 shots bottle empty

-Dad, no!

and I would be dead..

-In that case, dead, no!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
My cheating girlfriend has a job as a whiskey maker....

I love her still

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djkp7211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A bear walks into a bar and says β€žGive me a whiskey and... cola.β€œ

Bartender: β€žWhy the big pause?β€œ Bear: β€žIβ€˜m not sure... I was born with them.β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe_dsr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How does the KKK brew Whiskey?

In a Cracker Barrel.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My relationship with whiskey is....

On the rocks.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the forklift operator do with the worker's whiskey?

He Lifted their spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneTrueGrizzly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If my wife made whiskey,

I'd love her still.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Vodka, Tequila, Whiskey

I'm calling the shots

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatsquishyboy
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
To celebrate our wedding, my wife and I opened a few bottles from my late grandfather’s whiskey collection.

That way, he could be there in spirit.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Ice cube paw in my whiskey..
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSSSK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
As a kid I attempted stealing alcohol from the refrigerator i then realized it was too whiskey.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicDuck511
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The bar won't serve 'Corey Taylor' whiskey on rocks.

Because he pushes his fingers into his ice.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkinShriya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids were arguing about what to watch on Netflix, so I started yelling, β€œVodka! Tequila! Whiskey!...”

β€œIn this house, I call the shots.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm on a whiskey diet

I've lost 10 days already!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socrkng57
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
May the Fifth Be Whiskey!

I like my rye humor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm on the new Whiskey Diet.

I've lost 4 days already!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one guy asks, "Is this whiskey?"

The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3BeesKnees
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a half wine/half whiskey mix?

Jacques Daniels

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wondering-knight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How do mountain climbers like their whiskey?

On the rocks

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AHopelessSemantic
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is Irish whiskey triple distilled?

To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyJoeDavola
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
When I am feeling sad I pick up a box of whiskey.

I really lifts my spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidnightSerpents
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Whiskey and rum so are no longer allowed on Uber rides

You can only Lyft your spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/americangame
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently found out that im allergic to whiskey...

Every time I drink it I break out into tears and bad decisions.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badger432
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
She was only a whiskey maker's daughter...

...but he loved her still.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad has a dog named Whiskey.

She's a licker.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wornleather
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What does batman put in his whiskey?

JustIce

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryGrunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
A buddy of mine doesn't like to shoot whiskey.

So I gave the baby a straw and told him to suck it up.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d_le
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2015
🚨︎ report
A steak dinner and whiskey go hand in hand

But beef and milk were made for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faczak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
🚨︎ report
I've had whiskey dick when I drink too much. But recently I got painkillers after a visit to the dentist...

and I got poppycock. What nonsense is that!?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2014
🚨︎ report
I like whiskey...

...It's pretty neat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehenkan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Just got dad joked about Crown Royal Apple Whiskey

There was a commercial for Crown Royal's new Apple whiskey and I said to my dad, "that looks like it'd be pretty good." He responds with, "Yeah, it'd be worth a shot." I groaned so loud

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k_pressley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
🚨︎ report
Two Old Ladies turn on a baseball game and split a bottle of Whiskey

By the time they finished the bottle, it was the bottom of the fifth and the bags were loaded.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JupiterMC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2014
🚨︎ report
On whiskey made from reclaimed wood. reddit.com/r/Portland/com…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justinlilly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
🚨︎ report
What does Batman put in his whiskey?

Justice

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/89reatta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
She was just a whiskey-maker...

...but he loved her still.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fine-rusty-knife
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2016
🚨︎ report

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