A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
What does a judge get with his whiskey?
Did you hear about the fraction that was arrested for drinking whiskey in public?
A man's wife decided to become a whiskey-maker.
“Poor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”
The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "One whiskey and ................... one coke.
"Why the big pause?" - says the bartender.
"I don't know. I was born with them" - says the bear.
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. The bartender says...
"Sorry we don’t serve food here."
I met my wife when she was a whiskey maker
I don't understand people who chase whiskey...
Not once has a bottle ever run from me.
I have always liked whiskey, but ever since my kids were born,
I have learned to love it.
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."
But that's just generally speaking.
Two Chinese guys break into a distillery. After breaking open the first cask one of them says to his friend, "Is this whiskey?"
His friend says, "Yeah, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank."
Conversation with my son: Do you have a cup for your whiskey..
No, I use a shot glass..a cup is too big..7 shots bottle empty
and I would be dead..
-In that case, dead, no!
My cheating girlfriend has a job as a whiskey maker....
A bear walks into a bar and says „Give me a whiskey and... cola.“
Bartender: „Why the big pause?“
Bear: „I‘m not sure... I was born with them.“
How does the KKK brew Whiskey?
My relationship with whiskey is....
What did the forklift operator do with the worker's whiskey?
To celebrate our wedding, my wife and I opened a few bottles from my late grandfather’s whiskey collection.
That way, he could be there in spirit.
Ice cube paw in my whiskey..
As a kid I attempted stealing alcohol from the refrigerator i then realized it was too whiskey.
The bar won't serve 'Corey Taylor' whiskey on rocks.
Because he pushes his fingers into his ice.
My kids were arguing about what to watch on Netflix, so I started yelling, “Vodka! Tequila! Whiskey!...”
“In this house, I call the shots.”
I'm on a whiskey diet
I've lost 10 days already!
May the Fifth Be Whiskey!
I'm on the new Whiskey Diet.
I've lost 4 days already!
Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one guy asks, "Is this whiskey?"
The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
What do you call a half wine/half whiskey mix?
How do mountain climbers like their whiskey?
Why is Irish whiskey triple distilled?
To be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
When I am feeling sad I pick up a box of whiskey.
I really lifts my spirits.
Whiskey and rum so are no longer allowed on Uber rides
You can only Lyft your spirits.
I recently found out that im allergic to whiskey...
Every time I drink it I break out into tears and bad decisions.
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products
which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos
She was only a whiskey maker's daughter...
...but he loved her still.
My Dad has a dog named Whiskey.
What does batman put in his whiskey?
A buddy of mine doesn't like to shoot whiskey.
So I gave the baby a straw and told him to suck it up.
A steak dinner and whiskey go hand in hand
But beef and milk were made for each other.
I've had whiskey dick when I drink too much. But recently I got painkillers after a visit to the dentist...
and I got poppycock. What nonsense is that!?
Just got dad joked about Crown Royal Apple Whiskey
There was a commercial for Crown Royal's new Apple whiskey and I said to my dad, "that looks like it'd be pretty good." He responds with, "Yeah, it'd be worth a shot." I groaned so loud
Two Old Ladies turn on a baseball game and split a bottle of Whiskey
By the time they finished the bottle, it was the bottom of the fifth and the bags were loaded.
What does Batman put in his whiskey?
She was just a whiskey-maker...
...but he loved her still.