"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged, "I'm not sure, I was born with them"
A Galleon.
Heβll give you an βRβ before your βumβ
It's called Ba-cardio
You can only Lyft your spirits.
Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.
"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.
Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."
It's one part rum, three parts pum.
(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)
Pho Hoe Hoe and a bottle of rum
Hopscotch
Where did the Caribbean joke end?
I just remembered this one from last Christmas.
We were all sitting down at the table, and my mum brought her famous Rum Balls. These are a popular Christmas treat here in Australia.
She brings them out, holds one up, and says:
"Let's get ready to rum ball"
Everyone froze and sighed.
Yoo-hoo hoo in a bottle of rum!
but I heard it's whiskey buisness.
A barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
His thoughts are very depp
No whey
Or is it just Fanta sea?
Coke in a spiced rum,
No Pepsi nor Snapple tea.
Open you Barqβs, drink up your Slice, then pee!
It rums in the family
Because he always spread rum-ours.
They're not the best, but they'll definitely give you a rum for your money
Hi guys, I need to change my username online (mostly used in games) as it's not really something unique ( came from a book I read when I was younger ).
I'm trying to find something quite funny, with plays on words for example. But english isn't my native language and I find it quite hard ! So I'm asking you guys to help me :) You're the best for that imho !
If you could help me find something mixing music (percussions/drums), sciences (my field of study, physics to be more precise), beer and animals maybe (?) (because I like that !)
I think this is possible to find something using some science-specific noun and something else. But I can't seem to find one that suits me :(
eyepatched it
butter rum butter rum butter rum rum rum
He got marooned!
They're calling it ramen raisin.
A bear walks Into a bar, summons the bartender and says, 'I'll have a rum and ... ... ... Coke'. Bartender says,'why the long pause?' Bear replies, 'These?! (Looking at his paws), I've had these since birth!'
I'm here all week...
Ruuuuuum rum rum ruuuuuuuuuuuum
I know it's not very good but I made it up sitting in traffic the other day
So a blonde walks into a library, and walks up to the librarian and asks, "Can I have a rum and coke please?".
The librarian responded saying "Ma'am this is a library!"
The blonde responded "oh I'm sorry..." And in a whisper asked "Can I have a rum and coke please".
they were looking for aurum or rum.
The husband suggests a type of juice and coconut rum. "Do you think that would be good?" she asked. "I do", he replied. "It's worth a shot!", she concluded.
Out for dinner at a nice restaurant with wife and two teenage kids, we all order dessert, wife got blueberry creme brulee, I got baked alaska with rum flambe. Waitstaff knew it was my birthday so they put a candle on my baked alaska. Problem was, the rum flambe melted the candle. It was pretty funny, so wife took pics with her iPhone. As she was reviewing her pics, she dropped her phone in her creme brulee. I said, "I thought you ordered blueberry creme brulee, not Apple creme brulee..."
That was when I got the best birthday present: three hearty groans from the whole family.
I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.
He knows I'm a teetotaler.
"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.
"I know how to make some drinks."
"Like what?"
"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."
There is a snort there.
"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."
He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.
"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.
He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.
"How"
"Tell them about 1991."
"What?"
"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."
True story.
He teaches a class where students were doing book reports. One had done one on Stephen King's Doctor Sleep, the sequel to The Shining. The student mentioned that the main character, Danny Torrence is now an alcoholic, and from the back of the room husband goes, "Does he drink red rum?"
A couple of weeks ago, we were at home with my husband, having a few drinks at the end of the week and just relaxing. I had a glass of Dr. Pepper in front of me that I mixed with some rum. He came up and asked me if I wanted to grab "something stronger," assuming it was straight Pepper in the glass. I declined, saying that it's already mixed.
Him: "Didn't realize it was already doctored."
Me: "Yup, a doctored Doctor. Gimme the news."
I'll just show myself out. You're welcome for the earworm.
He orders a large coke......... and a rum. The Bartender says, βhey, why the big pauseβ. The bear says βI donβt know, I was born with themβ
And orders rum and a mop.
And says "Can I have a rum... ... ...and a coke?" The bartender replies "Why the big paws?"
