Can you guys give me really good back puns?
My one year anniversary since i had back surgery is coming up and i cant think of any really good back jokes, if you guys could get the back surgery jokes straightened out that would be great!
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︎ Apr 18 2013
I broke my back in a car accident and I'm looking for a pun for my grad cap
So yeah I got into a car accident during college and I wanted to commemorate that on my grad cap. My mom won't let me put my mri, "you should put something positive on your cap, not something negative" so yeah a back pun is the next best thing I could think of putting on there.
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I absolutely hate people who talk behind my back.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
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︎ Oct 20 2020
This brings back memories
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︎ Nov 09 2020
My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Everybody asks me how I got from Iraq to Afghanistan back in 2007...
But no one believes me when I say Iran.
^(For everyone confused, Iran is in between Iraq and Afghanistan on a map.)
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
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︎ Dec 08 2020
βI love my job!β exclaimed the farmer. βAll you do is boss me around all day!β complained one of his sheep. βWhat did you say?β challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
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︎ Oct 25 2020
My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...
Ahh. I get it. Itβs a viscous cycle.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
To prove he was right, the flat earther walked to the edge of the Earth.
He eventually came around.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
After coming back from Switzerland
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︎ Dec 13 2020
This really brings back old memories
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︎ Aug 08 2020
βChristopher Wreathβ is back on my door and now the holidays can begin!
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back with a friend
Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
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︎ Jul 29 2020
This was from a few years back.
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Itβs back
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.
I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Doctor: "Your DNA is back to front."
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︎ Dec 10 2020
If you name your daughter Margarita, when she talks back or gets sassy you can say,
"I didn't ask for salt on the rim Margarita!"
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︎ Nov 28 2020
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, βLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?β
Larry replies, βGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so Heβs fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When Iβm done, poof! The light goes off.β
βWow, thatβs incredible,β the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larryβs wife.
βBonnie,β he says, βLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because Iβm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when heβs done, poof, the light goes off?β
βOh sweet Jesusβ, exclaims Bonnie. βHeβs peeing in the refrigerator again!β
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Lets go back to the future!
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︎ Aug 02 2020
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
We successfully went back in time and got Isaac Newton and Shakespeare to complete each other's research
Now my high school kid wants me to remind him of Newton's 3rd law of emotion
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Beach
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︎ Nov 09 2020
Why is it illegal to do reverse cowgirl in Alabama?
Because you donβt turn your back on family.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Just got back from a trip to Paris...
That tower of theirs is sure an Eiffel.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award
I was voted most likely To.Be
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︎ Dec 10 2020
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Back when I worked at a different brewery, one of the brewers only had one leg.
She was in charge of the hops.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we donβt serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if heβs a rope!
Rope replies Iβm a frayed knot.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself...
βThis takes me back.β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. Iβm glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Back in Times Old Roman...
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Did you hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up the hammer and saw.
(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Finally got around to watching the whole βBack to the Futureβ trilogy!
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I am positive that there is something wrong with Quasimodo's back
Or it could be just a hunch
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I had a dog named Trump that I had to take back to the shelter
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Ahh yes... Frants
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︎ Nov 17 2020
A cheese factory exploded in France.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, βGet out. We donβt serve rope in here.β So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, βHey! Arenβt you the rope that I just threw out?β
The rope replied, βNo. Iβm a frayed knot.β
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︎ May 27 2020
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captainβs birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, βArrr! That was a costly mistake...β
βWe lost a lot of doubloons.β
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︎ Nov 28 2020
The man was finally about to escape prison when he realised he forgot something. He ran back and grabbed acne cream. Why?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What do you call a dogβs back teeth?
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︎ Nov 27 2020
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