A non-conformist beggar starts preaching

"All of you are doing jobs to earn a living. Well, I beg to differ"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/automata-door
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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What do you call someone who shares a bed with a beggar?

A begbud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LifeIsMarvellous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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A friend decided to gift me the boots I’ve been drooling over

They weren’t the color I wanted, but beggars can’t be shoes-y.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.

I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I hate when homeless people shake their coin cups at me.

I get it you have more money than me... There's no reason to brag about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fukhed69
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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When i was 17 i brought my future wife to Prom..

Went to get tickets from the office, waited in line for a while but got sorted.

Had to rent a limo, another line in their office but got one pretty quick.

Remembered I needed flowers, ran to the local florist, this time there was a massive line but they looked after me.

Eventually we got to Prom. Future Wife asks me to get her some punch.

I go to the refreshments table

Theres no punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnrlp2007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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The homeless man didn't like his new shoes.

Doesn't he know beggars can't be shoesers?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasvott
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Why is it that panhandlers are only allowed to eat liquid meals?

Because beggars can’t be chewsers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lilsguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Dadjoked a group email at work

My team's supervisor sent out an email to our group asking if anyone was getting a "beg" message from a particular application. So I replied all, "The program has not chosen to give me that message. So I guess beggars can be choosers."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2014
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