See what I did there?
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Ah, I see what you did there
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
What time is it when you see a cow laying in a field?
π︎ 258
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
I cant see why I am posting this, no one else will see this post
π︎ 208
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
I did knot see that one coming!
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Why donβt you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I'm a lactose intolerant and this doesn't explain why I see hell after eating cheese
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
What kind of dough is see through?
π︎ 127
π
︎ Oct 12 2020
Just PUTIN this here for everyone to see.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 17 2020
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.
https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
I see what you did there
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I painted my couch so you don't see it
π︎ 42
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
I didn't SEE that coming..
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
Can you see it?
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
Why are airplanes so hard to see?
Because they're in disguise
π︎ 424
π
︎ Aug 28 2020
My wife was surprised she didn't see any "5th of November" images yesterday
Apparently with everything going on we had no Fawkes to give
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
What did Tigger see when he looked in the toilet?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
As a covid detection measure, the eyeglass place took my temperature before I could see the eye doctor.
Does anyone know how I can get it back?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
Did you see that meteor shower?
No, I respect othersβ privacy
π︎ 151
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
Doctor I think Iβve gained the ability to see into the future
It all started next Tuesday
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
I put on a blindfold to see what I would look like in the mirror.
To be honest, I just don't see myself wearing it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call a fish that can't see?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Anyone else surprised we don't see more toddlers with criminal charges?
Mine's always resisting a rest.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
I took my Clock to see the doctor
one arm is shorter than the other
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
Who do you go see when you've got no signal in the waiting room?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
I went to see a basketball tournament in Mexico
It was all fun and games until it became Juan on Juan.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Did you see that sale on paddles at the sporting goods store?
Apparently it's a big oar deal.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Spend your last dollar on a $0.98 lottery ticket and see what you end up with.
That's just my two cents.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
Edit: Well this is rare, I wasn't sure how well done this joke was. Thanks for the face palm.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ May 08 2020
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.
I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
My wife was trying to see how ticklish my daughters were...
so she gave them test tickles.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
If you see a robbery at an Apple store
Does that make you an iWitness?
π︎ 63
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
(My grandpaβs Joke) When we went to Costa Rica, we didnβt see one can
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
βHey, how come I can see right through you?β
βMy son came out as Transgender today, so that makes me Transparent.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
A person who cannot see is known as blind, a person who cannot speak is known as mute. So, what do you call a person who cannot hear?
Anything you want to call them, they cannot hear.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
I didn't expect to see that convention of skilled printers in Madridβ¦
It was a Spanish ink-wiz-isition.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 31 2020
Cant weigh to see their face
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
i wanna see pessimistic one
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 25 2020
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.
Dad: But can you table salt?
Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.
Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
I can see the drifter saying that
π︎ 40
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Oh I see
π︎ 118
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
Nobody will see this one coming
π︎ 150
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said
βYesβ βOuiβ βSΓβ βJaβ
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
I donβt see how introverts can vote for Bernie.
I would figure they want anti-socialism.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
EYE SEE what you did there ;)
π︎ 56
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 10 2020
What do you do if you see a spaceman?
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 25 2020
"Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway!" My youngest son thought of that all by himself!
He's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
My 7 yo son's contribution: What has three eyes and can't see? (to be fair i's)
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
It's so great to see you!
'Cos now I know my eyes are working.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
I'll see myself out.
π︎ 30
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
You wanna see an Oxymoron?
π︎ 104
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
For the past few days, I wake up to see someone has dumped a bunch of LEGO blocks on my front porch.
I donβt know what to make of it.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 04 2020
What do you call a random dog you see on the street?
Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 09 2020
I wanted to see a fortune teller but my wife didnβt want to because theyβre always so depressed. So we compromised and found...
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
I see right thru you
π︎ 141
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
This makes me βpearβy happy! See what I did there??
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 13 2020
Donβt know how he didnβt see the oppurtunity.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
I can "see" that.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
My eye doctor just told me that I canβt see anymore,
I never saw that comingπ
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
My girlfriend says she canβt see too well without her glasses.
So I asked her what numbers she could see.
π︎ 158
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesnβt want you to see it.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
If I see another gender reveal bomb meme...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
π︎ 73
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
Can I see the result of my eye test
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
What do you do when you see a fireman?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
My dad said if he see me browsing reddit again, he'll smash my head to the keyboard
I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Mar 07 2020
I just came on to see this guy going wild.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Aug 07 2020
Bob:.. I went to see my doctor about having a vasectomy Jack:.. " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"
Bob:..."Yes, they're in favor of it, 14 to 3..."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
He didn't see the baby coming
π︎ 82
π
︎ Jun 21 2020
Did you see my new talking scale?
It has a weigh with words.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
I see nothing wrong there...
The Dalai Lama hands over a $10 bill, and after a moment asks for his change. The man behind the counter says, "no, the change must come from within"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...
Smoking is such a turn off.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
If you get in an accident and need to see a lawyer about it, just be careful..
They'll add consult to injury
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Who else wants to see a puppet show, minus the puppets?
Let's see a show of hands..
π︎ 245
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
I wanted to go see a theater piece comprised of puns...
...especially when I realized it was a play on words.
π︎ 70
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
Yeah, it does look like you see the dent-ist.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
I donβt see the point of slurry
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
It was my first time to see Rihanna
It happened on a rainy day so one thing led to another and she ended up under my umbrella
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
What do you say when you see Bob Marley cooking?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
What did the gunslinger see when he entered the church?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
I went to see a demonstration on steel boat building.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
They told me "be the change you want to see in the world!"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it!
π︎ 47
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Why don't you see hippopotamus's hiding in trees?
Because they're very good at it.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
If you see some cows asleep in a field...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
Why canβt you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
Why donβt you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees?
Cause theyβre really good at it.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 17k
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
How come you never see hippos hiding in trees
Because theyβre really good at it
π︎ 86
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
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