A list of puns related to "Rode"
โNo, but I brought you up, didnโt I?โ
The second time let me down.
I replied, "nice trade"
It's the naked truth.
I found it to be quite unstable.
Cred: My gf.
His name was Medieval Knievel.
I broke my jaw, my cheek bone and cracked my skull in 2 spots.
It's funny because it's true.
Always wear your helmet.
he called it recycling.
I'm not sure how to take it.
It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.
However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a tiny bell from a kittenโs collar, all the way up to the bell from the kingโs royal bell tower.
When the king awoke one morning, the bell towerโs bell was missing. The king, being brave and noble, decided to follow the thief back to his lair. He chose four of his most loyal soldiers, mounted his horse, and rode off into the snowy woods, following the footprints left behind on the ground.
Soon, he and his soldiers arrived to a clearing in the woods. In front of them was a large, bell-shaped building. They found the thiefโs lair!Pointing to the recent tracks left in the snow by the thief, the king announced to the soldiers,
โLook! The Fresh Prints to Bell Lair!โ
bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off my bike, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the whiskey and then rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on the way home!
Well I did, and you shouldโve seen her face when I rode pasta
The sheriff decided that he needed to stop them so he rounded up his deputies and they rode out in search of the gang.
After a couple of days everyone was tired and hungry so one of the deputies rode up to sheriff and said โLook sheriff we are all too tired, why donโt you guys rest up here and Iโll ride 4 miles north and two miles east and see if I canโt find us some grub?, Iโll be back by morningโ
The sheriff agrees and off the deputy rides 4 miles north and two miles east.
The next morning the deputy returns with all his packs full of bacon! The sheriff says โwhere the hell did you get all that bacon out here in the middle of nowhere!โ
Deputy says โwell you see sheriff I rode 4 miles north and 2 miles east and I swear to god thereโs this bacon tree just sitting there! A tree that is full of bacon!โ
โBullshit!โ Says the sheriff โyou stay here Iโm going to check this out!โ
So off the sheriff rides the same as the deputy did.
The next morning the deputy seeโs the sheriff crawling towards the camp with arrows sticking out of his back.
Deputy says to the sheriff โ Boss what the hell happened!โ
The sheriff looks up from the ground and says โBACON TREE, BACON TREE, that wasnโt a damn bacon tree you idiot it was a Hambush!โ
It rode down the hill and turned into a field
I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...
So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.
She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."
As she rode by. She looked at me, gave me the finger, and turned back around and promptly plowed her bike into the cow.
I tried.
There was an evil wizard who hated mathematics. One day he decided that he would end math once and for all, by capturing the 10 digits, and locking the away forever in his secret prison. So he cast his spell, and all the digits, from 0 to 9 were under his influence. He put them in his magic sack and rode off to the prison. When he reached the prison, he opened the sack. To his horror, there were not 10, but 9 digits there. After searching thoroughly he realized that...it was the 1 that got away.
Wife notices graffiti on the side of the road with the word HISTORY. Her: "That is the second time I have seen someone graffiti that word." Me: "History repeats itself."
A boy was in love with a girl. Madly in love. He told his older brother, who suggested he ask her to the upcoming prom. So, that night, he went to her house with some flowers and chocolates and asked the girl to the prom.
She was overjoyed. She took the flowers and hugged him around the neck. When he went home, his brother told him he had to get ready. Prom was in only a week!
The next day, he traveled to a suit store. He picked out the perfect one. It would go perfectly with his dateโs dress. He picked his up and went to check out. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of people were buying suits, as the line nearly went out of the store. He groaned, but anything for his love. After two long hours, he finally got his suit.
A couple days later, his brother suggested that he rent a limo. He and his brother went to rent one that evening. When they arrived, they discovered that there were nearly 50 people waiting to rent a vehicle. They waited for nearly three hours, but they were finally able to rent a limo for the big day.
The afternoon before the dance, he went to buy some flowers for his date. Unfortunately, the store seemed to be having a sale, and the checkout lines extended into the parking lot. He stomped his foot. โWhy is it that every time I go to buy something, everyone else wants to buy it too?!โ He begrudgingly waited for nearly four hour before walking out with a bouquet of roses.
That night, he rode in the limo to his dateโs house. She got in, and they talked the entire trip. He presented her with the flowers, which she adored. Her dress was stunning, and went perfectly with his suit.
They arrived at the school and got out, arms linked. They walked inside, said hi to a couple of friends, and began dancing and enjoying the night.
About halfway through the dance, the boy was parched. He told his girl that he was going to get a drink. He walked over to the snack table and discovered that there was no punch line.
Funniest horse puns and jokes
A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: โHey, weโve got a whisky named after you.โ The horse replies: โWhat, George?โ
A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. โEveninโโ says the barman, โwhy the long face?โ
A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: โWait you canโt come in here without a tie.โThe horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: โThis alright?โ The barman says: โHmm, okโฆ but donโt be starting anything.โ
A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: โI shouldnโt really be drinking this with what Iโve got?โ โWhy, what have you got?โ โAbout ยฃ2 and a carrot.โ
Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside Whatโs a horseโs favourite TV show? Neighbours
A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. โWill I be able to race this horse again?,โ he asks The vet replies: โOf course you will, and youโll probably win!โ
Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.
โIโm sorry, sir,โ says the barman. โWe donโt serve spirits..
A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. โExcuse me, good sir,โ the horse says, โare you hiring?โ The manager looks the horse up and down and says, โSorry, pal. Why donโt you try the circus?โ The horse nickers. โWhy would the circus need a bartender?โ
Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.
What did the horse say when it fell? โIโve fallen and I canโt giddyup!โ
Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horseโs name was Friday.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
What did the horse say when it fell? Iโve fallen and I canโt giddyup!
What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?
What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo
... keep reading on reddit โกMy friend rode his bike to meet up with me:
Me: How was the ride?
Friend: My bike is tired.
Me: Two tired!
I thought it was clever. =/
I rode down to the beach today with my son, my husband, and my husband's best friend. We drove past a cemetery when ny hubby said "I can't be buried in that cemetery." I asked him why not, and he told me "because I'm not dead." Many sighs were had.
Disclaimer: not a regular dad joke.
My wife (+ step kids) and I split up earlier this year and I told my stepdad I was feeling pretty bummed out with it being Father's Day and me now kidless, so I rode my motorcycle to the beach to get some wings. He said "don't worry about it, if I had the choice between being a father or getting wings, I would have gotten wings too." Can't decide if I should feel better or worse.
He lives in a somewhat rural town and someone he knows rode his horse through town today. As he pulled up next to him he asked " How many miles to the gallon does your MUSTANG get?"
So proud right now.
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