hey, do you smoke pot?

because weed be cute together

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mr_Mechatronix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2021
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Croc pots
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2021
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Harry Potter can’t tell the difference between his potions’ pot and his best mate

They’re both cauldron

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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My dad just told me his joke about seasoning a pot roast.

It's about thyme.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shaunj656
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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I have a constant urge to eat my mother’s pot brownies...

I think I’ve developed an edible complex.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea

I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/northernsou
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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What is the difference between a guitar , a Tuna and a pot of glue?

You can tun(a) guitar but cannot guitar a tuna

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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Wife: β€œWhich pot should I use for spaghetti?”

Me: β€œThe right one” Wife: Evil Glare Me: β€œThe wrong one?” Wife: Eviler Glare Me: Walks out of room

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jangooni
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately.

I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately. How can I tell? When I see that the Tide is High.

Don’t know if this counts as a dad joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Papa_G_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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A watched pot never boils...

The water does.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HeyMyFellowDudes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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What did one pot head llama say to the other pot head llama ?

Alpaca bowl for you

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deuce519
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that

I put it in the wrong place...... 3 years ago

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/newdoc123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
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I decided to try growing pot...

So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully it’ll produce a nice stock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?

Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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First pot here. Geddit?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/restrictedromantic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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What happened to the midget who smoked a lot of pot ?

He got medium.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Abbsalon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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Chicken Pot Pi
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Loogoos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
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A cow stumbled into a pot field.

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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I made an appointment with my dealer for some pot brownies

It was an edible arrangement

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sunmorgus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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The leader of a cannibal tribe was slowly cooking a man in a pot

Cannibal Leader: "What did you do before we captured you?"

Man: "I was an editor for a newspaper"

Cannibal Leader: "Soon you will be editor-in-chief"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2020
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Coffee maker asks the coffee pot...

"Where's all the coffee?"

Coffee pot replies, "We were mugged."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rick--Diculous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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A man walks in a bar and sees a pot of change labeled: "Make my horse laugh"

He ask the barman: "What is this?"

The barman answer: "Oh this, place a dollar and if you make my horse laugh you can keep the pot."

"Fair enough" says the man "I'll give it a try" and then places a dollar in the pot

He walks in the stable and after a minute, the horse starts laughing and just can't seem to stop.

The man grabs the pot of change and leaves.

One week later, the man comes back to the bar and can still hear the horse laughing.

A new pot of change has been placed on the counter labeled: "Make my horse cry"

Man says: "Fair enough", place a dollar in the pot and walks again in the stable.

The horse stops laughing and starts crying

The man comes back in the bar and takes the pot of change.

Before he gets a chance to leave, the barman ask him: "How did you make him laugh so much?"

"Oh, very simple" says the man "I told him: My dick is bigger than yours"

"And how did you make him cry?" Ask the barman

"Even more simple, I showed him"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alexokirby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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What happened when Einstein smoked pot for the first time?

Mankind attained its highest form of intelligence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the KKK member bring to the pot luck?

Hot cross buns.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Houshweeni
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the pot-head chiropractor getting so much business?

Everybody needed help rolling their joints

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lostintime31
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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A pot to hiss in.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 196
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bignick1190
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2020
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Harry Pot-ter
πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThePinkPanda205
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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What’s the difference between a fish, guitar, and a pot of glue?

β€œYou can tune a guitar but you can’t tune a fish”

β€œWhat about the pot of glue”

β€œI knew you’d get stuck on that”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 101
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InstaMemesBad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2020
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Stashed a little pot at work. Hopefully nobody finds it.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...

β€œI shall leave no tern unstoned.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zeroing-in
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2020
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What do they call pot in France?

Oui’d

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kill_Them_Back
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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What do you call pot on a roller coaster?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/K-BillysHitsofthe70s
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2020
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What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?

BONGGGGGGGGG

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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Someone accidentally mailed me 10 lbs of pot yesterday. So I did the right thing and called the cops.

They just came by and picked up all 4 pounds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 353
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2019
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What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blurose262
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.

It's dishwasher safe!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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If you consume pot brownies...

...does that make you a weedeater?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Algaean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2020
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You get 4 in a pack, well played Pot Noodle!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CuteHalfling
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?

They are both cauldron.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 319
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kabukimansanjoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 457
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2019
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Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US,

He will be rolling in his grave.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report

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