What did one chef say to the other chef while making chicken pot pie?

β€œI think we’re running out of thyme for this pie”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/406livin
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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My wife won a large ceramic pot

She definitely urned it

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
For the sake of all Grateful Dead fans, I hope pot is made legal in the US soon.

Otherwise, they will ...be rolling in their graves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Kids these days will never know what it's like to be an Instant Pot

Between all the different types of foods and recipes, you're always going to be under a lot of pressure

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I tried smoking pot once.

I choked on the handle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, there was a battle between the Pot Heads and the straight people of society....

And today, 4 21.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyKurts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
hey, do you smoke pot?

because weed be cute together

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Mechatronix
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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Croc pots
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?

They are both cauldron.

πŸ‘︎ 316
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabukimansanjoe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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My dad just told me his joke about seasoning a pot roast.

It's about thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaunj656
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a constant urge to eat my mother’s pot brownies...

I think I’ve developed an edible complex.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I went into the kitchen and saw a hurricane making a pot of tea

I thought hmm, there's a storm brewing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a guitar , a Tuna and a pot of glue?

You can tun(a) guitar but cannot guitar a tuna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Wife: β€œWhich pot should I use for spaghetti?”

Me: β€œThe right one” Wife: Evil Glare Me: β€œThe wrong one?” Wife: Eviler Glare Me: Walks out of room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jangooni
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately.

I’ve noticed I can tell when the ocean is smoking pot lately. How can I tell? When I see that the Tide is High.

Don’t know if this counts as a dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papa_G_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?

He had a very esteemed colleague.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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A watched pot never boils...

The water does.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeyMyFellowDudes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one pot head llama say to the other pot head llama ?

Alpaca bowl for you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deuce519
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I decided to try growing pot...

So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully it’ll produce a nice stock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that

I put it in the wrong place...... 3 years ago

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newdoc123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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First pot here. Geddit?
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?

Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the midget who smoked a lot of pot ?

He got medium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abbsalon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Chicken Pot Pi
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loogoos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I made an appointment with my dealer for some pot brownies

It was an edible arrangement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunmorgus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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The leader of a cannibal tribe was slowly cooking a man in a pot

Cannibal Leader: "What did you do before we captured you?"

Man: "I was an editor for a newspaper"

Cannibal Leader: "Soon you will be editor-in-chief"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A cow stumbled into a pot field.

The steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the KKK member bring to the pot luck?

Hot cross buns.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Houshweeni
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Coffee maker asks the coffee pot...

"Where's all the coffee?"

Coffee pot replies, "We were mugged."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rick--Diculous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks in a bar and sees a pot of change labeled: "Make my horse laugh"

He ask the barman: "What is this?"

The barman answer: "Oh this, place a dollar and if you make my horse laugh you can keep the pot."

"Fair enough" says the man "I'll give it a try" and then places a dollar in the pot

He walks in the stable and after a minute, the horse starts laughing and just can't seem to stop.

The man grabs the pot of change and leaves.

One week later, the man comes back to the bar and can still hear the horse laughing.

A new pot of change has been placed on the counter labeled: "Make my horse cry"

Man says: "Fair enough", place a dollar in the pot and walks again in the stable.

The horse stops laughing and starts crying

The man comes back in the bar and takes the pot of change.

Before he gets a chance to leave, the barman ask him: "How did you make him laugh so much?"

"Oh, very simple" says the man "I told him: My dick is bigger than yours"

"And how did you make him cry?" Ask the barman

"Even more simple, I showed him"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexokirby
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when Einstein smoked pot for the first time?

Mankind attained its highest form of intelligence.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A pot to hiss in.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bignick1190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Harry Pot-ter
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePinkPanda205
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the pot-head chiropractor getting so much business?

Everybody needed help rolling their joints

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostintime31
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Stashed a little pot at work. Hopefully nobody finds it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fish, guitar, and a pot of glue?

β€œYou can tune a guitar but you can’t tune a fish”

β€œWhat about the pot of glue”

β€œI knew you’d get stuck on that”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/InstaMemesBad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was arrested at the beach for feeding pot brownies to the seagulls. It was his third such arrest because, as he put it,...

β€œI shall leave no tern unstoned.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeroing-in
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do they call pot in France?

Oui’d

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kill_Them_Back
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone accidentally mailed me 10 lbs of pot yesterday. So I did the right thing and called the cops.

They just came by and picked up all 4 pounds.

πŸ‘︎ 355
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call pot on a roller coaster?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?

BONGGGGGGGGG

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US,

He will be rolling in his grave.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.

They're both cauldron.

πŸ‘︎ 453
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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