My mate reckons I have selfie steam issues
Because it brews all my tea.
Because he brews-all-my-tea.
"We're out of them at the moment, I can order one for you Mr...?"
"Alright, let me order one for you first"
My response “but it won’t suit me”
Of course he puts it on his head and asks how he looks. We all chuckle in a pained kind of way and Mum says "Can you turn the kettle on, dear?"
And that is when he starts chatting to the kettle, stroking it sensually. sigh.
Ya know that mouthwatering hunger you get when you smell the meat cooking on the BBQ. I wonder if vegetarians get the same feeling when they mow the lawn.
So he started doing a strip tease
He said wouldn't it be better to boil some water
He wanted to go on a hot date.
Dad.. " I don't think it'll fit me?"
He replied, "It won't suit you."